The Cathedral of Manley Field Invaded by Humanoids Wearing Beanies
Herb Wittmere
| Revision History | ||
|---|---|---|
| • December 1991-January 1992 | Newspaper: Funded by Syracuse University students. | |
| The Alternative Orange: Vol. 1, No. 3 (pp. 11) | ||
| • September 3, 2000 | Webpage:  . | |
| DocBook XML (DocBk XML V3.1.3) from original. | ||
The usual quiet reverence held within the Cathedral of Manley Field was shattered by the onslaught of strange humanoid beings shrouded in multicolored robes and beanies. These beings were revered by a small army of humanoids whose common bond was a collective obsession with a symbol they deemed "budget cuts." Both the beanied beings and their adoring fans appeared ready to crown a new king.
The ritual began with a procession of beanied beings, some of whom smiled to the humanoids obsessed with "budget cuts," while others appeared bored and out of place. All stood and awaited the entering of the new king with the old king and the high priests who were responsible for his appointment. These privileged beings took their place up high on a platform, behind a plexiglass altar.
Prayer was offered to some generic "God." Most beings bowed their heads in reverence. A second prayer was offered to a fifty foot long red, white and blue flag. This prayer was sung with deep emotion. It appeared as if the second prayer held more meaning for he humanoids, although this reporter is not sure.
Following the second prayer, some words were mumbled by one of the high priests. A medallion, marking the authority of the new king, was placed around his neck by the old king. Both kings, old and new, shook appendages.
The new king then proceeded to utter noises for some forty minutes (our time). "He" (this reporter thinks he was of the male gender, although it was hard to tell with all those robes) spoke about symbols like "quality," "caring," "innovation," and "service." The humanoids listened intently, and must have understood what he was saying, for no one interrupted him to ask for clarifications.
The ritual ended with all of the humanoids clapping appendages. The beanied beings recessed behind a curtain... of their fate no one is really sure. Although this reporter has been lead to believe that they took the form of humanoids obsessed with "budget cuts."
