Young Energetic Americans with Hope! (Y.E.A.H.!)

October 1992

The National Youth Campaign for Obedience, Decency and Stable Financial Markets

Dear Miss Dings,

Are you ready to “Get With It”? According to our extensive personal and security check, you are! We feel that you are our kind of Young American — free of the sort of prejudices that unfortunately afflict so many people our age. You are not “politically correct,” rather you are morally right! If you feel that Americans are on the verge of moral bankruptcy, we are the vehicle for expressing your indignation. Let’s put it right back into the face of all the baby killers masquerading as feminists, the dope-smoking apologists for draft dodgers, psycho criminals, homosexuals and the so-called homeless.

It’s time for the RIGHT-thinking youth of this country to stand up and be counted. We must emphasize to the socialist-dominated mass media that a baby boomer is not the kind of fuzzy headed left-winger that is constantly being shown on the news, on prime-time television and particularly on the PBS (Politburo Broadcasting Service). Taxpayer dollars are constantly being used to further the far-left agendas of pinkos like Bill Moyers, Phil Donahue and McNeil-Lehrer. I hardly think that it’s a coincidence that these anti-Americans are feeding at the trough of tax-and-spend liberal Clinton Democrats while a real American like Rush Limbaugh is forced into the obscurity of syndication.

Miss Dings, it is with both great anticipation and great fear that we come to you with our message of hope. Our anticipation is high since we have uncovered so many honest Americans through our background checks; but we are fearful as well. . .We are only too knowledgeable of the difficulty of our mission. The good time, party ethos of many in our generation is deeply ingrained. The left-wing media and the corrupt liberal Congress has a vested interest in maintaining this status quo. But it is time to say enough is enough! Will we continue to stand idly by while the commie intellectuals defame decent Americans like Dan Quayle? Mom and Apple Pie might have been replaced by Lesbian Lovers and marijuana in Hollywood, but sluts like Murphy Brown still don’t play on Main Street, U.S.A.

Miss Dings, we implore you to become involved in our crusade to reclaim America from the liberals, hippies, commies and homosexuals. We want an America where children obey their parents, white males aren’t considered to be outlaws, where radical lesbians and homosexuals are put back into the closet where they belong, where lazy welfare leaches are forced off the dole and made to work, where businessmen are once again seen as our culture’s finest product and profits can never be labeled obscene.

We are so convinced of the urgency of our cause that we are even violating one of our own principles — the sanctity of personal wealth. Desperate times do call for desperate measures, however. We seek your support in many ways — write to your local Daily Pravda and give them a glimpse of our truth. Rally our natural constituencies in your community — Rotary Clubs, fraternities, and the Chamber of Commerce are good starting points. But above all, we expect you to contribute in the most personal and sacred way an individual can in our society — by writing a check. Please be generous to our campaign, a failure of nerve at this crucial juncture could mean the end of our cherished way of life.

[ ] Yes, I want to make America safe, free, and profitable again! Please find enclosed my contribution of $___. I understand that while this gift is not tax deductible, tax accountants can do wonderful things under a Republican administration.

[ ] Please send additional information your wonderful campaign and my part in making America clean, safe, and white again:

Name: ________

Address: ________

Bank Address and Account Number: ________

[ ] I’m tired of right wing intolerance and hatred masquerading as patriotism and morality. Go away! (Please expect an IRS audit and F.B.I. surveillance.)