TITLE: DIVORCE, REMARRIAGE, CONCUBINES, & JESUS; Another Look for Christians. COPYRIGHT © JANUARY 14, 1995 All rights reserved. Copyright © 01/14/'95; 01/12/¹96 (Revised) CHAPTER II. DIVORCE! A PLAGUE AND ITS CONSEQUENCES . St. Augustine (4th Cent AD) had a powerful way of stating the permanent nature of the marriage of two who married after being born again, lovingly obedient to Jesus and fruitful in the Spirit--- ³To such a degree is that marriage compact entered upon a matter of a certain sacrament, that it is not made void even by separation itself, since, so long as her husband lives, even by whom she hath been left, she commits adultery, in case she be married to another: and he who hath left her, is the cause of this evil. . . Seeing that the compact of marriage is not done away by divorce intervening; so that they continue wedded persons one to another, even after separation; and commit adultery with those, with whom they shall be joined, even after their own divorce, either the woman with a man, or the man with a woman. . . But a marriage once for all entered upon in the City of our god>14, where, even from the first union of the two, the man and the woman, marriage bears a certain sacramental character, can no way be dissolved but by the death of one of them. . . Therefore the good of marriage throughout all nations and all men stands in the occasion of begetting, and faith of chastity: but, so far as pertains unto the People of God, also in the sanctity of the sacrament, by reason of which it is unlawful for one who leaves her husband, even when she has been put away, to be married to another, so long as her husband lives, no not even for the sake of bearing children: . . . not even where that very thing, wherefore it takes place, follows not, is the marriage bond loosed, save by the death of the husband or wife.²>15 [Footnotes:>14 This footnote mark etc. is not St. Augustine's or Arthur Haddan's. I insert it just in case the reader is not aware of the fact that all marriages between real saints take place "in the City of our god" not according to St. Augustine, but according the the Holy Spirit in Hebrews 11:10,13-19, where they are already seated with Christ in the Heavenlies according to Eph. 1 & 2. >15 St. Augustin: On The Trinity; pp. 402, 406, 412.] In Matt. 5 Jesus made it plain divorce was permitted for the hardness of human hearts and Malachi 2 makes it plain that God hates the treacherous breaking of marital covenants that results in divorce. In Matt. 5 Jesus permits the husband to divorce his wife is she is guilty of fornication, but does not command it. There is no command to divorce one's mate for fornication, but after Acts 1 there is the command to separate (not divorce) yourself from a saved mate who is snared in sexual sin>16. Before Acts 1 Jesus allowed divorce for the hardness of hearts >17. The compassionate heart of the Spirit filled Christian would respond to a mate's fornication according to the Word>18. . The goal of such compassion for one's mate snared in sexual sin would be the goal of godly sorrow described in the following:2 Cor. 7 and 1 Corinthians 5:5 . . . deliver such an one unto Satan for the destruction [ruin , damage] of the flesh, so that the spirit may be saved in the day of the Lord Jesus. [Footnotes:>16. 1 Cor. 5:9-11; 2 Thes. 3:6-14; 1 Tim. 6:1-5; 2 Tim. 3:1-5; >17. Mat. 19:6-9; >18. 1 Corinth. 5:5-11; Matthew 18:15-18; Gal. 6:1; John 8: 1- 10; 1 Tim. 5:20,21; 2 Th. 3:6-14] MKJV 2 CORINTHIANS 2: 5 ¶ 6 This punishment by the majority [is] enough for such a one; 7 so that, on the contrary, you should rather forgive and comfort [him], lest perhaps such a one should be swallowed up with overwhelming sorrow. 8 So I beseech you to confirm [your] love toward him. 9 For to this end I also wrote, that I might know the proof of you, whether you are obedient in all things. 10 But to whom you forgive anything, I also [forgive]. For if I forgave anything, for your sakes I forgave [it] to him in the person of Christ; 11 so that we should not be overreached by Satan, for we are not ignorant of his devices. MKJV 2 CORINTHIANS 7: 8 For even if I grieved you in the letter, I do not regret; if indeed I did regret; for I see that that letter grieved you for an hour. 9 Now I rejoice, not that you were grieved, but that you grieved to repentance. For you were grieved according to God, so that you might suffer loss by nothing in us. 10 For the grief according to God works repentance to salvation, not to be regretted, but the grief of the world works out death. 11 For behold this same thing (you being grieved according to God); how much it worked out earnestness in you; but [also] defense; but [also] indignation; but [also] fear; but [also] desire; but [also] zeal; but [also] vengeance! In everything you approved yourselves to be clear in the matter. 12 ¶ Then, though I wrote to you, [it was] not on account of the one who did wrong, nor on account of the one who suffered wrong, but for the sake of revealing our earnestness on your behalf, for you before God. Even though Jesus apparently allows a genuinely believing husband to divorce his wife snared in adultery and then go ahead and remarry, I wouldn't want to stand before the judgment seat of Christ and tell the God of Love I divorced my wife for fornication because of the hardness of my heart. The motivation of a hardened heart doesn't square with Eph. 4 or I Cor. 13 or Romans 15. MKJV EPHES. 4: 15 But that you, speaking the truth in love, may in all things grow up to Him who is the Head, [even] Christ; . . 25 Therefore putting away lying, let each man speak truth with his neighbor, for we are members of one another. 26 Be angry, and do not sin. Do not let the sun go down upon your wrath, 27 neither give place to the Devil. . . . 30 And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you are sealed until [the] day of redemption. 31 Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and tumult and evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice. 32 And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake has forgiven you. 1 CORINTH. 13: 4 ¶ Compassionate cherishing has patience, is kind; compassionate cherishing is not envious, is not vain, is not puffed up; 5 does not behave indecently, does not seek its own, is not easily provoked, thinks no evil. 6 Charity does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices in the truth, 7 quietly covers all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. 8 ¶ Compassionate cherishing never fails. MKJV ROMANS 15: 1 ¶ Then we who are strong ought to bear the infirmities of the weak, and not to please ourselves. 2 Let every one of us please [his] neighbor for [his] good, to building up. 3 For even Christ did not please Himself; but as it is written, "The reproaches of those who reproached You fell on Me." 4 For whatever things were written before were written for our learning, so that we through patience and comfort of the Scriptures might have hope. 5 ¶ And may the God of patience and consolation grant you to be like minded toward one another according to Christ Jesus, 6 so that with one mind [and] one mouth you may glorify God, even the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. 7 ¶ Therefore receive one another as Christ also received us, to [the] glory of God. Being forgiven by God for sins worthy of death (Rom. 1) how can we not forgive our mate if he/she falls in adultery and then repents? How can we say anything besides "Go on with your life and sin no more!">19 if the Godly repentance described in the following is evident? That's the example He left for us (1Pet.2:20,21). There is no greater Love than to lay down and deny your life/will for another's good. [>19. John 8:1-10.] MKJV 2 CORINTHIANS 7: 8 For even if I grieved you in the letter, I do not regret; if indeed I did regret; for I see that that letter grieved you for an hour. 9 Now I rejoice, not that you were grieved, but that you grieved to repentance. For you were grieved according to God, so that you might suffer loss by nothing in us.10 For the grief according to God works repentance to salvation, not to be regretted, but the grief of the world works out death. 11 For behold this same thing (you being grieved according to God); how much it worked out earnestness in you; but [also] defense; but [also] indignation; but [also] fear; but [also] desire; but [also] zeal; but [also] vengeance! In everything you approved yourselves to be clear in the matter. MKJV 2 CORINTHIANS 2: 6 This punishment by the majority [is] enough for such a one; 7 so that, on the contrary, you should rather forgive and comfort [him], lest perhaps such a one should be swallowed up with overwhelming sorrow. 8 So I beseech you to confirm [your] love toward him. 9 For to this end I also wrote, that I might know the proof of you, whether you are obedient in all things. 10 But to whom you forgive anything, I also [forgive]. For if I forgave anything, for your sakes I forgave [it] to him in the person of Christ; 11 so that we should not be overreached by Satan, for we are not ignorant of his devices. When I have approached Christian leaders here in my area, most of them fall back on a rationalization of scripture to defend or at least conform to the worldly norms of separation/divorce/ remarriage in contemporary society. So they accept divorces, where those put together by God are put apart by man, and remarry "believers" who have been divorced or separated from "believers". They are sincerely and earnestly concerned about stumbling the weak and are reluctant to ask of the saints what seems to the world's eyes to be impossible for many saints, to accept the Word that genuine believers are bound maritally as long as both live. The particular case in point is the situation caused by the plague of divorce among Christians. I understand the following scriptures to indicate that genuine believers in the Lord Jesus Christ who were free to marry each other in the Lord and did marry each other are bound maritally to each other as long as both live ------- 1 CORINTH. 7:10* ¶ And to the married I command (not I, but the Lord), a woman not to be separated from [her] husband. 11* But if she is indeed separated, let her remain unmarried, or be reconciled to [her] husband. And a husband is not to leave [his] wife. 12 But to the rest I speak, not the Lord, If any brother has a wife who does not believe, and she is pleased to dwell with him, do not let him put her away. 13 And the woman who has a husband who does not believe, if he is pleased to dwell with her, do not let her leave him. . . .15 But if the unbelieving one separates, let [them] be separated. A brother or a sister is not in bondage in such [cases], but God has called us in peace. 39* ¶ The wife is bound by the law as long as her husband lives, but if her husband is dead, she is at liberty to be remarried to whom she will, only in the Lord. MKJV ROMANS 7: 2* For the married woman was bound by law to the living husband. But if the husband is dead, she is set free from the law of [her] husband. 3* So then [if], while [her] husband lives, she is married to another man, she shall be called an adulteress. But if the husband dies, she is free from the law, [so that] she is no adulteress by becoming another man's wife. MKJV MARK 10: 6 But from the beginning of the creation God made them male and female. 7 For this cause a man shall leave his father and mother and shall cleave to his wife. 8 And the two of them shall be one flesh. So then they are no longer two, but one flesh. 9 Therefore what God has joined together, let not man put apart. . . . 11 And He said to them, Whoever shall put away his wife and marries another commits adultery against her. 12 And if a woman shall put away her husband and marries to another, she commits adultery. I believe they state that a Spiritually reborn man and a Spiritually reborn woman who are free to marry each other in the Lord and do marry each other are bound to each other by the Word of the Lord as long as both their bodies are alive. What is the case in the Bible? Gen. 2:24 Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife, and they shall be one flesh.>20. There are three acts described here: [Footnote>.(20. The Holy Scriptures According to the Masoretic Text] (1) From the following it is clear that it means leaving the parents' presence, authority and control; MKJV PSALM 45:10 ¶ Listen, O daughter, and look; and bow down your ear; and forget your own people and your father's house. 11 And cause the King greatly to desire your beauty, for He [is] your Lord, and you shall worship Him. . . . 13 The king's daughter [is] all glorious within; her clothing [is] trimmed with gold. . . . 16 Your sons shall be in the place of your fathers; you will make them princes in all the land. 17 I will make Your name to be remembered in all generations; therefore the people shall praise You forever and ever. (2) Cleaving is the act of the will making marital covenants and vows that bind them maritally before God>21; [Footnote:>21 Ezekisl 16:7,8; Malachi 2; Matt. 1:18-25 where Mary and Joseph are declared to be husband and wife even before the actual wedding and cohabitation. "Cleave" in the Hebrew means "cling or adhere; . . . abide fast, cleave (fast together), follow close (hard after), be joined (together), keep (fast), overtake, pursue hard, stick, take." (Strong''s Exhaustive Concordance.) J. Thayer's Greek-English Lexicon says it means "to glue upon, glue to" ] (3) Becoming one flesh is the sexual act of coitis or sexual penetratio and one can become one flesh with one's wife or with an adulteress or with a harlot>22. Becoming one flesh is not what makes a relationship a marriage. For the permanence of the relationship of marriage the focus is on the word "cleave" which in the Hebrew means "cling or adhere; . . . abide fast, cleave (fast together), follow close (hard after), be joined (together), keep (fast), overtake, pursue hard, stick, take.">23. Thayer says it means "to glue upon, glue to">24. If God commands the husband to conduct himself as if he were being joined together with her, clinging, adhering, cleaving and glued to her in this manner towards his wife, then he had better do it if he wants a good future with God, because to disobey would be death>25 . Being under this command would certainly bind a man to his wife as long as both lived. [Footnotes:>22 1 Cor. 6:13-20; >23. Strong''s Exhaustive Concordance; >24. Greek English Lexicon of the New Testament; Joseph Henry Thayer, D.D.; American Book Co., New York, 1889; >25 Rom. 6:23; 1:31,32; Malachi 2:14-17.] The Jewish Septuagint (third century B.C.) for Gen. 2:24 uses the same word for "cleave" that Jesus uses in Matt. 19:5. The word used for cleave in the LXX's Gen. 2:24 and Jesus' Matt. 19:5 means the following: 1. According to Thayer --- "to join one's self to closely, cleave to, stick to"; and 2. According to Arndt & Gingrich ---"adhere closely to, be faithfully devoted to, join tini someone". The Greek tense in both is future indicative passive which means that this is what they shall have themselves doing in the future on a regular basis. Some say that it is not a command. Jesus seems to differ with them both in Malachi 2, where He says the husband who breaks his marital agreement with his wife is under His wrath, and in Matt 19:6 where Jesus says "So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, man must not separate." It is the marital commitments and covenants between the husband and wife that is the glue that binds them, and it is the solemn and disciplined honoring of those commitments that reinforces and maintins that glued bond that binds them. Every legal>26 and moral>27 marriage of two who are morally free in Christ to marry is ordained or allowed by God and takes place under His control>b, so indeed God has joined them, based on the truth of the following: [Footnote: >26 Legal= recognized and accepted as legal by one's culture and law enforcers Rom. 13; 1 Pet. 2:13-17; >27 moral= free from all others maritally and free in the Lord's kingdom to marry according to His Word. >b Eph. 1:11; Rom. 8:28] MKJV Romans 8: 27 And He searching the hearts knows what [is] the mind of the Spirit, because He makes intercession for the saints according to [the will of] God. 28 And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to [His] purpose. MKJV ROMANS 13: 1 ¶ Let every soul be subject to the higher authorities. For there is no authority but of God; the authorities that exist are ordained by God. 2 So that the one resisting the authority resists the ordinance of God . . . MKJV Ephes. 1:10. . . to head up all things in Christ, both the things in Heaven, and the things on earth, [even] in Him, 11 in whom also we have been chosen to an inheritance, being predestinated according to the purpose of Him who works all things according to the counsel of His own will, . . . That's why we can trust God that we are to remain married to the person we are married to when we are saved. He gave Adam his Eve, and if you are His child, He worked in you to want to marry your mate>c, He lead you to marry your mate>d, and He worked all things so that you did marry you mate>e. So you can understand why 1 Cor. 7 speaks of the binding nature of marriage. [>c Phil. 2:12,13; Heb.13:20,21. >d Romans 8:9,14; Acts 16:6,7; Isa. 30:21. >e Eph. 1:11; Rom. 8:28; Mt. 10:29; Prov. 16:1,9; Isa. 46:9-13; Neh. 9:6] MKJV 1 CORINTHIANS 7:17 ¶ But as God has distributed to each one, as the Lord has called each one, so let him walk. And so I ordain in all churches. 18 [Was] any called having been circumcised? Do not be uncircumcised. Was anyone called in uncircumcision? Do not be circumcised. . . . 20 Let each one remain in the calling in which he was called. 21 Were you called as a slave? It does not matter to you, but if you are able to become free, use [it] rather. . . . 24 Each in whatever way he was called, brothers, in this remain with God. So Jesus makes binding>28 the cleaving >29 and the one flesh experience that we know as marriage. Since the only terms of divorce are given in Deut 24:1-4 (which were superseded by Matt. 19:1-15 and 1 Cor. 7:10-15,39), it is clear that marriage is a life long relationship based on the covenants of the couple and on God's command not to be put asunder or put asunder the relationship. Rather than abide by this believers-married-for-life principle, most Christian churches/ pastors today are telling their divorced and divorcing communicants that they should forget the things that have happened in the past trusting God's forgiveness to cover it all and press on into the future with their new mates and lives. [Footnotes:>28 (Mt. 19:6); >29 (Mt. 19:5) ] They say it would do more harm than good to tell Christian mates that they need to leave their new mates, married in adultery, and new kids and go back to the Christian mates they divorced contrary to the Word>f. I believe that we are to live by every Word of God, and not by unscriptural traditions of men that put asunder what God said must not be put asunder, that tell couples they are loosed from each other when God says they are bound for life>30 . How dare we say "You are loosed" when God Himself says she is "bound as long as her husband lives"? [Footnotes:>f in 1 Corinth. 7; Romans 7 and Mark 10 >30 (Matt. 19:5; Rom. 7:1-5; 1 Cor. 7:10,11,39)] What are the responsibilities of still being bound to someone when you have loosed yourself according to human law but remain bound according to the Law of Christ? Wouldn't they be responsible for parenting both their children by the mates to whom they are bound by the Lord, as well as their children by their adulterous>31 new marriage. Wouldn't they be responsible for keeping whatever promises they made and can keep in the Lord--that they made to their mates in the Lord and to their mates in adultery>32 ? They can't keep their adulterous promises of marital intimacy with their adulterous mates, but they can keep the promise to Agapé Love them, cherish them, honor and respect them, pray and fast earnestly and fervently for them, and clothe and feed them if they are destitute and in need. Jesus instructs us to do these things even to our enemies>g. There is no question that they are responsible for the parenting, provision and care of any children by their adultery, as God and man's law allow(Eph. 6; 1 Tim. 5:8; Heb. 12; 1Jn.3:16,17). [Footnotes:>31. Mark 10:11,12; >32 (Psalm 15:4; Ezek. 17:15;Eccles.5:1-7) >g Luke 6; Mt 5; Isa. 59; 1 tim. 2; James 2; 1 Peter 2,3,4] I submit that the commandment of God in Romans 7:1-3 and the following passage below (binding the saved husband to his saved wife until death separates them) is laid aside to hold man¹s tradition, making of no effect the Word of God.: MKJV MARK 10:6 But from the beginning of the creation God made them male and female. 7 For this cause a man shall leave his father and mother and shall cleave to his wife. 8 And the two of them shall be one flesh. So then they are no longer two, but one flesh. 9 Therefore what God has joined together, let not man put apart. . . . 11 And He said to them, Whoever shall put away his wife and marries another commits adultery against her. 12 And if a woman shall put away her husband and marries to another, she commits adultery. MKJV 1 CORINTH. 7: 4 The wife does not have authority over [her] own body, but the husband. And likewise also the husband does not have power [over his] own body, but the wife. 5 Do not deprive one another, unless [it is] with consent for a time, so that you may [give yourselves to] fasting and prayer. And come together again so that Satan does not tempt you for your incontinence. . . . 7 For I would that all men were even as I myself am. But each has his proper gift from God, one according to this manner and another according to that. 8 I say therefore to the unmarried and the widows, It is good for them if they remain even as I. 9 But if they do not have self- control, let them marry; for it is better to marry than to burn. 10* ¶ And to the married I command (not I, but the Lord), a woman not to be separated from [her] husband. 11* But if she is indeed separated, let her remain unmarried, or be reconciled to [her] husband. And a husband is not to leave [his] wife. . . . 39* ¶ The wife is bound by the law as long as her husband lives, but if her husband is dead, she is at liberty to be remarried to whom she will, only in the Lord. I submit that those passages mean exactly what they say, that the obediently believing wife is bound by law as long as her obediently believing husband lives. No qualifiers! No exemptions! Instead many Christian leaders tell the saved divorced that if they just confess the sin of the divorce to God, God will forgive them and they are no longer bound to their departed saved mate so they can go on and remarry someone new. So they set aside God¹s command to keep their own tradition. Can God bless and anoint with His miraculous power a person, a couple or a church sets aside His will and Word so they can keep their own tradition? Not the Jesus I know. Yes Jesus allowed the Jews under Moses to divorce their mates (Mt. 5) but it was for the hardness of their hearts and you can be sure that a just and holy God chastened the hard of heart. If I were an insurer, I sure wouldn't want to sell them any life insurance (1Cor.10). He never commanded a genuine believer to divorce a genuine believer. It just is not in the Word. He never commands His child to divorce His other child after He has put them together. But there is a commanded separation or standing back or break in fellowship that is required by Jesus when one's mate is snared in the sins described below ----- not a divorce, but some form of separation. Consider the following about sinners (for those married to the unsaved) and about "saints" snared in sin: MATTHEW 5: 32* But I say to you that whoever shall put away his wife, except for the cause of fornication, causes her to commit adultery. And whoever shall marry her who is put away commits adultery. Romans 16: 17. . . mark them who cause divisions and causes of offense contrary to the doctrine which you have learned, and avoid them. 1 Timothy 6:1-5 If any man. . . . consent not to . . . . the Words of our Lord Jesus . . . withdraw yourself from such. 2 Timothy 3:1-5: For men shall be lovers of their own selves.........avoid such. 1 CORINTH. 5: 9 ¶ I wrote to you in the letter not to associate intimately with fornicators; 10 yet not altogether with the fornicators of this world, or with the covetous, or extortioners, or with idolaters; for then you must go out of the world. 11 But now I have written to you not to associate intimately, if any man called a brother [and is] either a fornicator, or covetous, or an idolater, or a reviler, or a drunkard, or an extortioner; with such a one not to eat. 2 THESSALONIANS 3:6 ¶ Now we command you, brothers, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that you withdraw yourselves from every brother who walks disorderly, and not after the teaching which he received from us. . . . 14 And if anyone does not obey our word by this letter, mark that one and have no company with him, that he may be ashamed. 15 Yet do not count [him] as an enemy, but admonish him as a brother. Yes there is an avoiding or withdrawing from such spouses but we will see below how 1 Cor. 7:10-15 and Mark 10 etc. exclude the option of marital separation or divorce except under very specific conditions. He never said that they were no longer bound to each other as Christian husband and Christian wife according to the scriptures>33 . You and I know that a married couple can avoid or withdraw from each other in many ways without getting a divorce. They withdraw emotionally or socially. A saint can't join the sinning spouse in the sin, so right there is a withdrawal or avoidance. [Footnote: >33 (Matt. 19:5; Rom. 7:1-5; 1 Cor. 7:10,11,15,39)] According to 1 Cor. 5 it is a whole different ball game if the spouse is often doing, practicing, regularly or habitually doing any of the following: adultery, fornication, sexual perversion (sodomy, homosexuality, bestiality, incest), greediness or covetousness, the worship of false gods, reviling (verbal abuse), drunkeness or intoxication, robbing, swindling, and/or extorting. The saved spouse is under command NOT to associate, keep company or be intimate with a spouse who does the above and is claiming to be genuinely saved, a genuine believer in the Lord Jesus Christ, a born again child of God. This may take the form of the husband divorcing such a "believing" wife and remarrying (Matt: 19:9) or it may take the form of the wife chastely and maritally separating herself from such a "believing" spouse (1 Cor. 7:10,11). The reason for this difference in options will be discussed in the chapter dealing with adultery and its definition. I believe the saved wife of an unsaved husband, who is involved in the sins listed above in this section, has the same chaste separation option, from the context of 1 Cor. 7:10-15. I understand this kind of separation from such sinning mates involves the cessation of sexual intimacy, until either the sinning spouse repents as in 2 Cor 2 & 7 or the Lord takes the life of the sinning spouse so as to save his spirit. Let's take another look at this. What do you do about your spouse who is snared in adultery, fornication, lesbianism, sodomy, bestiality, incest or etc.? Consider the following: MKJV JOHN 8: 4 they said to Him, Teacher, this woman was taken in adultery, in the very act. 5 Now Moses in the law commanded us that such should be stoned. You, then, what do you say? . . . 7 But as they continued to ask Him, He lifted Himself up and said to them, He who is without sin among you, let him cast the first stone at her. . . . MATT.5:32* But I say to you that whoever shall put away his wife, except for the cause of fornication, causes her to commit adultery. And whoever shall marry her who is put away commits adultery. 9 And hearing, and being convicted by conscience, they went out one by one, beginning at the oldest, until the last. And Jesus was left alone, and the woman standing in the midst. 10. . . Did not one give judgment against you? 11 And she said, No one, Lord. And Jesus said to her, Neither do I give judgment. Go, and sin no more. MKJV 1 CORINTH. 5: 1 ¶ Everywhere [it is] reported [that there is] fornication among you, and such fornication as is not named among the nations, so as one to have [his] father's wife. . . . 3 For as being absent in body but present in spirit, I indeed have judged already [as though I were] present [concerning] him who worked out this thing; 4 in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, when you are gathered together, with my spirit; also, with the power of our Lord Jesus Christ; 5 to deliver such a one to Satan for the destruction of the flesh, so that the spirit may be saved in the day of the Lord Jesus. . . . MATT. 5:32* But I say to you that whoever shall put away his wife, except for the cause of fornication, causes her to commit adultery. And whoever shall marry her who is put away commits adultery. 7 ¶ Therefore purge out the old leaven so that you may be a new lump, as you are unleavened. . . . 11 But now I have written to you not to associate intimately, if any man called a brother [and is] either a fornicator, or covetous, or an idolater, or a reviler, or a drunkard, or an extortioner; with such a one not to eat. 12 . . . Do you not judge those who are inside? 13 . . . Therefore put out from you the evil one. These show that such a separation can be an exercise in Church discipline, delivering the Christian offender's body for the destruction of the flesh (chastening) to the end that the erring saint should be effectively chastened and stop sinning and in godly sorrow repent of the fornication. The sinning saint is chastened>34 into weakness, sickness or sleep (death) by the Lord. If weakness or sickness results in godly sorrow and repentance, then the repentant one is restored as in the following: [Footnote: >34 (1 Cor. 5 &/or 11; Heb.12) MKJV 2 CORINTHIANS 7: 8 For even if I grieved you in the letter, I do not regret; if indeed I did regret; for I see that that letter grieved you for an hour. 9 Now I rejoice, not that you were grieved, but that you grieved to repentance. For you were grieved according to God, so that you might suffer loss by nothing in us. MKJV 2 CORINTHIANS 2: 6 This punishment by the majority [is] enough for such a one; 7 so that, on the contrary, you should rather forgive and comfort [him], lest perhaps such a one should be swallowed up with overwhelming sorrow. 8 So I beseech you to confirm [your] love toward him. . . 10 But to whom you forgive anything, I also [forgive]. For if I forgave anything, for your sakes I forgave [it] to him in the person of Christ; 11 so that we should not be overreached by Satan, for we are not ignorant of his devices. They would both still be saved and both still be bound to each other maritaly no matter who else they married or how many kids they might have had in the meantime. There is nothing in scripture that would indicate the the marital bond between two genuine Christians is broken by sexual immorality. If adultery required a marital-bond breaking divorce/separation, then Matt 5:32 would read as follows: But I say to you that whoever divorces his wife for any reason except sexual immorality causes her to commit adultery; and whoever marries a woman who is divorced for any other reason than sexual immorality commits adultery. This would imply that it would NOT be adultery to marry a woman divorced/separated for sexual immorality. But what did Jesus say to genuine believers? He said "... whoever marries a woman who is divorced commits adultery.">h He gives no qualifier or exception except for 1 Cor. 7:12-15 in the case of the believer divorced/ desserted by the unsaved mate. No matter what the reason for the divorce except 1 Cor. 7:15, including sexual immorality, "whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery." "And if a woman divorces her husband and marries another, she commits adultery." (Mk.10:12). It is adultery to marry a woman divorced from her legitimate husband except in the case of 1 Cor. 7:15, in which case God has loosed her from her husband. It is adultery to marry a genuinely believing woman divorced from her genuinely believing man if they were free to marry in the Lord when they married, because when they married they became maritally bound to each other until death parts them (1Cor. 7:39) Later in this study we will deal with the issue of why the Word does not say ".....whoever divorces her husband, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery.......". In the other cases presented in this chapter that require a separation because of the misconduct of one's mate, I believe the believing mate has to avoid/withdraw from the erring spouse in such activities and usually can do so without leaving their house. We'll see below that the avoidance/ withdrawal does not include marital intimacy and affection (1 Cor. 7:1-15). Dealing with the adulterous mate is discussed below, so please be patient and read on. What should be the spouse's attitude be when married to one to whom she/he is commanded to be manifesting some form of avoidance or withdrawal? The key is in 2 Thess 3:15 above where we enjoined to "not count [him] as an enemy, but admonish him as a brother." or in 1 Pet. 3:1 where the wives are instructed to "be submissive to your own husbands so that, if any obey not the Word, they also may without a word be won by the behavior of the wives . . . . ". Consider the following: Luke 17:3 Take heed to yourselves. If your brother wrongs you, rebuke him; and if he repent, forgive him. Galatians 6:1 Brethren, if a man be overtaken in a fault, you who are spiritual restore such a one in the Spirit of meekness . . . John 13:10-15 . . . . you also ought to wash each other's feet, for I have given you an example, that you should do as I have done to you. Ephes. 4:15 . . . speaking the Truth in Love . . . . Ephes 5:6-11 . . . because of these things comes the wrath of God upon the sons of disobedience. Therefore don't be partakers with them. . . .And have no fellowship with the unfruitful works of darkness but, rather, reprove [them]. 1 Tim. 5:20,21 Them that sin rebuke before all, that others may fear. . 2 Tim. 2:24 And the servant of the Lord must not strive, but be gentle unto all, able to teach, patient, in meekness instructing those that oppose them . . . . . 1 Pet. 3:1 . . . be submissive to your own husbands so that, if any obey not the Word, they also may without a word be won by the behavior of the wives . . . . The command is "Man must not put apart what God has put together". Even if they are divorced/separated, people "must not put apart what God has put together." The genuine Christian wife is maritally bound to her genuine Christian husband as long as they both live>i . [>h Mat.5:32; 19:9. >i (1Cor.7:39;Mark 10).] There is a parallel in the relationship of the Body of Christ to Christ. When a brother becomes part of the Bride of Christ Jesus is bound by His own Word in the relationship, not to put apart what God has put together (John 17:2, 6, 9, 10, 20, 21).So when a brother stumbles into fornication>35, instead of cutting off the relationship and disowning him, Jesus Loves him and has promised to chasten him in that Love>36. There is a break in fellowship, a separation, in that Jesus doesn't respond to his usual prayers>37 and releases his body to Satan for the destruction of his body>38 in order to save his spirit>39. He still belongs to Jesus because he shows that his spirit will be saved even if the chastening doesn't result in repentance>40. No one, neither himself nor Jesus, can take him out of Jesus hand>41. So the brother is chastened>42 and genuinely repents>43, resulting in his restoration to good standing and fellowship in the Bride of Christ and with Jesus. [Footnote: >35. 1 Cor. 5; 2 Tim. 2:24,26. >36. 1 Cor.5; Hebrews 12. >37. Isaiah; Mat. 6:16; 1 Pet. 3:7; 1 Jn. 3:22,23. >38. 1 Cor. 5:5; 11:27-32; Heb. 12. >39. 1 Cor. 5:6; 11:27-32 >40. 1 Cor. 5:5; 11:27-32. >41. John 10:28,29. >42. 1 Cor. 5 & 2 Cor. 2. >43. 2 Cor. 2 and 7]. Another parallel is Jesus and the nation Israel. Israel became the bride of Jehovah/Jesus>44. When Israel misused their bodies/temple, Jehovah/Jesus allowed their bodies to suffer>45. He didn't end His relationship/promises with the nation Israel, even though He allowed many of them to suffer/die and allowed the temple to be destroyed. When Israel repented genuinely, He restored His fellowship and blessings to the genuinely repentant, even allowing them to rebuild the temple for full fellowship>46. Jehovah/Jesus' bond with the nation Israel was not annulled and broken by their sin nor the chastening He allowed>47. [Footnote: >44. (Ex. 20; Ezek. 16:7; 23:1-6). >45. 1Cor. 10:9,10 >46. Ezra, Nehemiah. >47. Ezekiel 16 and 23; Hosea] In American reality, because of the wretchedly poor Bible teaching today Christians, divorce and remarry almost as much as J.Q Public. The Christian wife divorces her Christian husbandand remarries in adultery reaping the chastening of the Lord until she dies>48 or repents in reconciliation or celibacy if she is genuinely born again. The Christian man divorces his Christian wife and remarries. If he really repudiates his Christian wife for another and marries another he commits adultery>49 and reaps the Lord's chastening. At this point we need to define our terms. [Footnotes:>48. (1 Cor 5 and 11:29-32); >49 (Mark 10, Luke 16, Matt 5, 1 Cor 7)] III. DIVORCE DEFINED. Let me try to clarify the word "divorce" at this point since it has so many definitions in our current culture. The Greek word apoluo >1 used by Jesus in Mark 10:11 & 12 means TO SEND OR PUT AWAY, DISMISS (FROM ONE'S PRESENCE), RELEASE AND REPUDIATE. It could be done informally or formally and legally as divorce. [Footnote: .>III.1 See also Matt. 1:19; 5:31; 19:3,7-9.] The Greek word choridzo >2 , used in Mark 10:9 of the saved couple and in 1 Cor. 7:10 &11 of the saved wife , and in v. 15 of the unsaved mate, means TO SEPARATE ONESELF FROM ANOTHER, BE SEPARATED; LEAVE, PART OR DEPART FROM, PUT ASUNDER AND DIVIDE. It could be done informally or formally as a divorce. God allows the Christian wife to choridzo her husband as second best but still affirms that she is bound maritally to her husband as in v. 39. [III. footnotes: >III.2. See also active: Matt. 19:6; Mark 10:9; Rom. 8;35,39;---passive: 1 Cor. 7:10,11,15;Acts 1:4; 18:2] The Greek word afeeaymee >141, used of the man in l Cor. 7:11 and 12 and of the woman in v. 13, means TO SEND AWAY, ASK TO GO AWAY OR LEAVE, TO RELEASE, AND TO LEAVE. This can be done informally or as a formal divorce. So the word divorce can mean many different things depending on one's culture, society, motivation, intent and purposes. But the bottom line is that the husband is commanded not to send his wife away, nor to ask his wife to leave, nor release her nor leave her. Even if she asks or commands him to leave, He is under the Lord's command not to leave. Even if she gets a court order, he is under God's order not to leave her voluntarily. If the marshals/officials remove him and his belongings, then he didn't leave voluntarily. He was removed, but he did not relase or leave her. Separate rooms, sleeping separately or etc. is not leaving or releasing her as long as he is obeying 1 Cor. 7:1-5 with her.l [Footnote: .^141 See also Mat. 13:36;; Mark 4:36.] In summary we see the following: (1) the Christian husband must not divorce/send away/release [See apoluo or afeeaymee above] his Christian wife to whom he is bound as long as they both live. 1 Cor. 5:10,11 and 2 Thess. 3:6 & 14 may require a separation that doesn't involve sending her away, asking her to go away or leave, releasing her from their marriage bond, or leaving her ---- but they are still bound for life. I experienced such a separation without leaving with the mother of my children. The last two years we were together we slept inthe same king size bed but she never let me touch her, kiss her, hold her or make love with her. Now that is separation without leaving. But for the male under 1 Cor. 5:ll and 2 Thess. 3:6,14 commands to "stand apart" from his sining wife would still be bound by the commands in 1 Cor. 7:2,3,4,5 which could require him to be maritally intimate with her, so the "separation" would have to be in other areas ---- always in the Spirit of 2 Tim. 2:24-26; Galat. 6:1,2,3; and Luke 6 ---- like not eating together, not hanging out together, not dating, not socializing together , not spending your leisure time together or etc. (2) the saved husband must not divorce/send away/ask to leave/leave [See afeeaymee above] his unsaved wife as long as she agrees or consents or is willing to dwell/live /house with him. (3) the Christian wife must not divorce/send away/dismiss/repudiate[See apoluo above] and should not (but may) divorce/separate from/leave/put apart [See choridzo above] her Christian husband. The saved wife must not divorce/send away/ask to leave/leave [See afeeaymee above] her unsaved husband as long as he agrees or consents or is willing to dwell/live/house with her. Because of the definition and 1 Cor. 7:11 some believe that the saved wife also can divorce/separate from/leave/put apart [choridzo] her unsaved husband in faithful separation, but still not divorce/send away/ask to leave/leave [afeeaymee] him, in the event of spousal abuse, fornication or etc. These actions find many different legal and informal forms and expressions in many different cultures and subcultures. So when you see the word ³divorce² in your Bible, it at least means ³send away, release², "leave" or ³be separated, put asunder, divide² informally or formally. If Mark 10:8-12; 1 Corinthians 7:10,11,39 and Romans 7:1-3 are taken quite literally, a genuinely saved Elias who legally married (with no vow of exclusivity such as ³forsaking all others² & ³keeping yourselves only to each other until death do you part²) and was legally divorced by several genuinely saved Jane Does who just wanted to live as singles again>142 would have to deal with the question, "Are they still my wives in God's eyes?". They all divorced him exercising their scriptural option and whatever he felt or wanted would be irrelevant in terms of 1 Cor. 7:11,39. What if these genuinely saved but carnal Jane Does became engaged to others and maritally vowed to forsake all others including their Elias and to keep themselves only to their new mates until death part them? It would be adultery and their vows would be sinful because those vows would be invalidated by God's statement in Mark 10:8-12 and 1 Corinth. 7 :11,39 that they are bound to Elias as long as they both live. [Footnote: >142 (1 Cor. 7:11) ] But wait a minute! Wouldn't it be adultery for Elias to remarry even if his Christian wife divorced him? I mean wasn't he still bound to her even if she dumped him and never saw him again, living single in separation? Wouldn't Elias still be bound to his departed and separated Christian wife (according to1 Corinthians 7:10,11,39) even though her departure for other reasons than prayer and fasting leaves him subject to Satan's temptations due to his not having the gift of celibacy (1Cor.7:5)? Why is she allowed to disobey 1 Cor. 7:5 by leaving him indefinitely (1 Cor. 7:10,11) for some other reason than prayer and fasting? To find the answers to these questions, let's take a look at what the Bible says about the institution of marriage in its various forms and over time.