I'M YOUNG AND BURNING WITH SEXUAL DESIRE AND SEXUAL TORMENT. WHEN DO I HAVE TO MARRY? WHEN MUST WE MARRY? WHAT ABOUT PORNOGRAPHY? WHAT CAN I DO ABOUT THE BURNING? By Tyler COPYRIGHT © JANUARY 14, 1995 All rights reserved. Copyright © 01/14/'95; 01/12/Õ96 (Revised) This file, in its entirety, may be posted on or copied off of computer networks like Internet or WWW by anyone so inclined. P.O. Box 620763, SanDiego, CA 92162-0763 oldservant@mindspring.com or oldservant@planetall.com or 0953@geocities.com I submit the following as the results of my own struggle with these issues. I'm a high testosterone (blood level) male who thinks that women are God's masterpiece in creation, made to be adored and compassionately cherished. Scripture is scripture, and everything else below should be tried and tested before being accepted (1 thess. 5:21). Walk in God's tradition, not in man's tradition. (Mark 7). Before we look at when we must marry, letÕs find out the meaning of Òsexual immoralityÓ or ÒfornicationÓ which god by paul indicates is the main reason for the need of marriage (1 COR. 7:1,2). JESUS AND THE APOSTLES TOOK THE SAME OLD TESTAMENT HEBREW AND GREEK (LXX) WORDS FOR IMMORALITY/FORNICA-TION AND USED THEM IN THE NEW TESTAMENT GREEK WITHOUT CHANGING THEIR MEANINGS. HE DID CHANGE THEIR PENALTIES/ PUNISHMENTS IN THIS LIFE ON EARTH. Matt. 5:17 ¦ Think not that I am come to make void the law or the prophets; I am not come to make void, but to fulfil. 18 For verily I say unto you, Until the heaven and the earth pass away, one iota or one tittle shall in no wise pass from the law till all come to pass. 19 Whosoever then shall do away with one of these least commandments, and shall teach men so, shall be called least in the kingdom of the heavens; but whosoever shall practise and teach [them], *he* shall be called great in the kingdom of the heavens. Matt. 23: 1 ¦ Then Jesus spoke to the crowds and to his disciples, 2 saying, The scribes and the Pharisees have set themselves down in Moses' seat: 3 all things therefore, whatever they may tell you, do and keep. But do not after their works, for they say and do not, ***Sexual sin includes the following: (1) Pressing/handling/embracing the genitals, a breast and/or breast-nipple of a female who is not your wife or by a male who is not your husband; (2) Coition/genital-to- genital connection with someone who is not your husband/wife;(3) Genital connection with orgasm with someone who is not your husband/wife; (4) A "lover/ paramour" seeing the genitals of the female he is involved with and she is not his wife. Ezekiel 23:2 "Son of man, there were two women, daughters of one mother. 3 And they did sexual sin in Egypt; they did sexual sin in their youth: there were their breasts pressed, and there were handled the nipples of their virginity. . . . . 8 Neither left she her sexual sin [brought] from Egypt; for in her youth they had lain with her, and had handled the breasts of her virginity, and poured their fornication upon her. 21 And you did look back to the lewdness of your youth, in the handling of your nipples by the Egyptians, for the breasts of your youth. Proverbs 5:18 Let your fountain be blessed: and rejoice with the wife of your youth. 19 [Let her be as] the loving hind and pleasant roe; let her breasts satisfy you at all times; and be ravished [enraptrured/intoxicated] always with her [erotic] love. 20 And why will you, my son, be ravished [enraptrured/intoxicated] with some other woman, and embrace the bosom of an alien stranger? 21 For the ways of man [are] before the eyes of the LORD, and he ponders all his goings. 22 His own iniquities shall take the wicked himself, and he shall be held with the cords of his sins." Please read all of Ezekiel 16, Ezekiel 23 with 1 Corinthians 6. ***Pressing/handling/embracing a female's breast and/or breast- nipple, coition/genital-to-genital connection, genital connection with orgasm OUTSIDE OF YOUR OWN MARRIAGE IS UNACCEPTABLE TO GOD AND ETERNAL LIFE. Exodus 22:16 ¦ And if a man seduce a virgin who is not covenanted-to-marry, and lie [in genital connection] with her, he shall certainly endow her to be his wife. 17 If her father utterly refuse to give her unto him [as wife], he shall weigh money according to the dowry of virgins. Deut. 22:25 But if a man find a covenanted-to-marry young woman in the field, and the man force her, and lie [in genital connection] with her; then the man only that lay [in genital connection] with her shall die: 26 But unto the young woman you shall do nothing; [there is] in the young woman no sin [worthy] of death; for as when a man rises against his neighbour, and slays him, even so [is] this matter: 27 For he found her in the field, [and] the covenanted-to-marry young woman cried, and [there was] no one to save her. 28 If a man find a young woman [who is] a virgin, who is not covenanted-to-marry, and lay hold on her, and lie [in genital connection] with her and they be found [by man or God]; 29 Then the man who lay [in genital connection] with her shall give unto the young woman's father fifty [shekels] of silver, and she shall be his wife; because he humbled her, he may not put her away all his days. PROVERBS 5, 6, &7 on premarital &/or extramarital sex. Lev. 18:20 And you shall not lie [in genital connection] with your neighbour's wife, to become unclean [by orgasm/adultery] with her. 1 Corinthians 6:9 ¦ Do you not know that unrighteous [persons] shall not inherit [the] kingdom of God? Do not err: neither fornicators >*, nor idolaters, nor adulterers >~ , ...shall inherit [the] kingdom of God. . . . 13 ... the body [is] not for sexual sin, but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body. 15 Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ? Shall I then, taking the members of the Christ, make [them] members of a female who does sexual sin? Far be the thought. 16 Do you not know that he [that is] joined to the female who does sexual sin is one body? for the two, he says, shall be one flesh. 17 But he that [is] joined to the Lord is one Spirit. 18 Flee sexual sin. Every sin which a man may practice is without the body, but he that commits sexual sin, sins against his own body... [Footnotes>*=those who press/handle/embrace a female's breast and/or breast-nipple, and/or have coition/genital-to-genital connection, and/or genital connection with orgasm OUTSIDE OF/WITHOUT MARRIAGE . >~=males who press/handle/embrace the breast/nipple of another male's female, and/or have genital connection with another male's female; or females who let another male besides her own male press/handle/embrace their breast/nipple and or have genital connection with them] 1 Thess 4:1 ¦ Furthermore, then, my brothers, we beseech you and exhort [you] in [the] Lord Jesus, that, as you have received of us how you ought to walk and to please God, so you would abound more [and more]. 2 For we know what commandments we gave you by the Lord Jesus. 3 For this is the will of God, your sanctification, that you should abstain from fornication>^, 4 each one of you should know how to know how to possess his vessel. [Footnote:>^=Pressing/handling/embracing a female's breast and/or breast-nipple, coition/genital-to-genital connection, genital connection with orgasm OUTSIDE OF YOUR OWN MARRIAGE] OTHER POSSIBLE TRANSLATIONS PUT FORTH BY OTHERS : 1: . . .Óknow that he is to procure his own vessel [wife] in [personal] holiness and honor, not in the passion of inordinate desire . . .Ó 2. ..Ó learn to control his own body .. or . .Ólearn to live with his own wife; or . . .Ólearn to acquire a wife . . . 3. Ò know how to possess [control, manage] his own body (in purity, separated from things progfane, and) in consecration and honor.".1b in sanctification and honor 5 (not in the passion of lust, even as the nations who know not God) , 6 not to go beyond and defraud >1c his brother in this matter, because the Lord [is the] avenger concerning all these, as we also have forewarned you and testified. 7 For God has not called us to uncleanness, but unto sanctification. 8 He, therefore, who despises, does not despise man but God, who also has given unto us His Holy Spirit. [Footnote: >1c This probably refers to adultery, defrauding your brother by adultery with his wife.] IS IT PORNOGRAPHY (WHORE PHOTOS)? IS IT WRONG (SIN)? 1. IF YOU KNOW THAT THEY ARE BEING SEXUALLY INTIMATE AND THEY ARE NOT MARRIED TO EACH OTHER, THEN GET RID OF IT (1 THESS 5:21). To enjoy or delight in their fornication is to applaud, approve of or consent to those who do the sinful actions, making you worthy of death. (Rom. 1:32) 2. Is the genital and/or anus exposed??? Ezek. ch. 16 and ch. 23 with Phil. 4:8 and ÒI will set no vile thing before my eyesÓ psa,101:3==YOU DONÕT BUY/GET IT or set it before your eyes DONÕT LOOK AT ANY PICTURES OF THoSE WHO DO SUCH SINS, NO PICTURES OF PEOPLE WITH EXPOSED GENITALS, OF EXTRAMARITAL SEX, OF LESBIANISM! Psalm 101:3,4; Phil. 4:8 3. DONÕT GO TO/ASSOCIATE/FELLOWSHIP WITH IMMORAL PEOPLE who want to have sexual intimacy with each other or you outside of marriage. DONÕT BE ALONE WITH IMMORAL PEOPLE who want to have sexual intimacy with you outside of marriage. 2 Cor. 6:14-7:1; 1 Cor. 5:9-11; Proverbs chapters 5,6 & 7; ROM. 13:14 4. GET RID OF ANY PICTURES, magazines, videos, addresses, phone #Õs OR ETC. THAT TEMPT YOU TO DO SIN, OR CAUSE YOU TO SIN. Rom. 13:14; 2 Timothy 2:19-22 5. KEEP YOURSELF FROM THEIR SINFUL ACTIONS AND HAVE NO PLEASURE IN THOSE WHO DO SUCH SINFUL ACTIONS, and so escape death. Do not applaud, approve of or consent to thOSE who do sinful actions. (Rom. 1:32;Psa. 15:4) 6. GET RID OF ANYTHING THAT IS CLEARLY AND PLAINLY SINFUL, FORBIDDEN, STUMBLING YOU, OFFENDING YOU, GRIEVING YOU. 2 Cor. 7; Rom. 13:14; 2 Timothy 2:19-22 7. Are they naked in public, IN magazines, in photos for the public? It is not enough if the nude model is careful not to let her vagina, labia, and anus be seen. God didnÕt have nude Eve just be careful to keep her legs and buns closed and her hand over her vagial labia. God clothed her, covering her vagina, vaginal labia and anus with something in addition to her pubic and anal hair and hand. It goes to the Ònaked and bareÓ shame of Ezek 16 and 23 where public nudity, bareness, exposure of vaginal labia and anus---are a shame and a disgrace, a punishable offense in the eyes of God. Definitely not a Phil. 4:8 for a believer. Gen. 3 God wants our nakedness (genitalia) clothed in public and in public photos.Gen.3;Matt. 25:36; Rev. 3:17 8. ÒThey exchanged the truth of God for a lie... Because of this, God gave them over to shameful lusts... Although they know GodÕs righteous decree that those who do such things deserve death, they not only continue to do these very things but also approve** of those who practice them.Ó Romans 1 **=applaud, have pleasure in, agree with. You donÕt want to be found approving, applauding, pleasuring in or agreeing with the vile doers or their vile deeds unless you want to share their death. (Psa. 15:4; 101:3,4) A CHECK OFF LIST __ 1. Do the women involved open their feet/legs/thighs to show their genitals publicly? One who does this is ÒlewdÓ, Òweak of heartÓ, and does the Òwork of a whoreÓ, a vile person to be condemned [psa. 15:4].EZ 16 & 23. GET RID OF IT! Rom. 13:14; 2 Timothy 2:19-22 ___ 2. Do they scorn pay/reward for sex sin acts, and/or even pay &/or reward their lovers for their sex? Then they are whores. Ez 16 DONÕT GO TO,watch or enjoy THEM. Romans 1:32 ___ 3. Do they accept salary/pay/reward for acts of sexual sin? Pornography stars, models, people are harlots and vile. Ez 16 DONÕT GO TO,watch,or enjoy THEM! Psalm 15:4 ___ 4. Are they having sex with someone else besides their mate? This is adultery/fornication and worthy of death/ Hell (Rom. 1:32). EZ 16 DONÕT GO TO, watch or enjoy THEM! ___ 5. Do they have sex with others than their own mates insatiably? They are vile and whores worthy of death (Rom 1:32; 1 Cor. 6). Ez 16 DONÕT GO TO, watch or enjoy THEM! Psalm 101:3,4 ___ 6. Are they involved in breast pressing and breast/ labia handling by others than their own mates? Proverbs 5, Ezekiel 16 & 23. Whores and the vile do this and are worthy of death (Rom 1:32). It is fornication and those who keep on doing it shall not inherit the kingdom of God (1 Cor. 6). KEEP YOURSELF FROM THEIR SINFUL ACTIONS AND HAVE NO PLEASURE IN them or THEIR SINFUL ACTIONS. ___7. Do you want to do sinful things in your mind with the people in the pictures? You are snared by the Evil and are worthy of death. Ezek. 23:14-16; Matt. 5 KEEP YOURSELF FROM them and THOSE PICTURES. ___ 8. Do they make public (in magazines, adds, movies, on the street) their whorish behavior? Ez. 23:16-18 ___9. Do they make public their genitals/labia? EZ. 23:16-18 DonÕt enjoy them or their immodesty even in the pictures where their genitals are covered because covered or uncovered they are still them and they are to be avoided and scornfully despised but prayed for (1 Tim 2:1; Psalm 15:4; 2 Cor. 6:14-7:1). ___10. Are they naked in public, in photos for the public? Gen. 3 God wants our genitals clothed in public and in public photos.Gen.3 Matt. 25:36; Rev. 3:17 COVER THEIR NAKEDNESS? That is NOT ENOUGH BECAUSE THEY ARE STILL THOSE WHO DO SUCH THINGS AND YOU MUST NOT TAKE PLEASURE IN THEM. DonÕt enjoy them or their immodest EVEN IF THEIR GENITALS are covered. Rom.1:32 ___11. Did God tell them to be naked in public? Apparently a male prophet can be naked publicly if God tells you to do so.Isaiah 20 ___12. Do they uncover their buts/bottoms so they are naked publicly? It is a shame before God. Isa. 20:2-4 ___14. Does they show off, pridefully display their genitals? PHILIPPIANS 3:19 with Ezek. 16 and 23. DonÕt enjoy them, for they are to be rebuked and scornfully despised, but prayed for. ___13. Does she dress or undress in such a place/way to stumble, tempt, offend someone? Stay away from her and keep her stuff away from you. Prov. 5 & 6 & 7; Rom. 14 + 1 Tim. 2:9,10 ___14. Do you obey God by not setting before your eyes anything that is, according to God, worthless or evil or wicked or ungodly--- like pictures of vile people showing their genitals &/or immorality? Do you, even if they are clothed decently and presentably, whether or not you/they have covered their genitals? Psa. 101:3; Phil. 4:8 ___15. Do you understand that a person is body, soul and spirit (1 Thes. 5:23)? Do you understand that this means that you are to scornfully despise the body, soul and spirit of the vile/ wicked/ evil person who does sexual sin? (Psalm 15:4; 101:3,4) ___16. Do you understand that even if you canÕt see their faces, even if you donÕt know WHO they are, that God wants you to scornfully despise their bodies, whatever part of them you can see, while you pray for them? 1 Tim 2:1 Psalm 15:4 ___17..DO YOU SET NO WICKED THING BEFORE YOUR EYES AS YOU WOULD HAVE TO IN ORDER TO CENSOR IT? No? I have a woman do it? Then I have caused her to set a wicked thing before her eyes and she could get hooked on it. I do it in the dark without my glasses so I canÕt really see it? THE QUESTION IS NOT ÒCAN YOU SEE THEM IN THEIR SIN?Ó BUT DO YOU SET THE WICKED PEOPLE DOING THEIR THING BEFORE YOUR EYES? YES YOU DO SET THE WICKED PEOPLE DOING THEIR WICED SIN BEFORE YOUR EYES WHEN YOU CENSOR/EDIT THEIR PICTURES. SO YOU MUST NOT SET PORNOGRAPHIC PICTURES BEFORE YOUR EYES EVEN IF YOU CANÕT SEE CLEARLY BECAUSE OF NO GLASSES OR BECAUSE OF DARKNESS. ___18. DO YOU HATE THE PORNOGRAPHIC WORK OF THOSE WHO SHOW GENITALS AND PRACTICE FORNICATION FOR PAY AND FILMING? ÒI cover their genitals, faces and their personhood.Ó NOO GOOD BECAUSE YOU HAVE TO SET WICKEDNESS BEFORE YOUR FACE IN ORDER TO DO THAT. ___19. DO YOU DESPISE THE REPROBATE WHO BARES GENITALS AND FORNICATES? ÒI cover their genitals, faces and their personhood.Ó NOO GOOD BECAUSE EVEN IF YOU COVER THEIR GENITALS THEY ARE STILL THE REPROBATES WHO BARED THEIR GENITALS AND/OR FORNICATED. ___20. Does the questionable behavior involve hand to genital behavior? Apparently you should have hand to genital relations only with your own mate. Deut. 25:11 11 KJV When men strive together one with another, and the wife of the one draweth near for to deliver her husband out of the hand of him that smiteth him, and putteth forth her hand, and taketh him by the secrets:12 Then thou shalt cut off her hand, thine eye shall not pity [her]. DBY 11 When men fight together one with another, and the wife of the one come near to rescue her husband out of the hand of him that smiteth him, and stretch out her hand, and seize him by his secret parts,12 thou shalt cut off her hand; thine eye shall not spare. MKJV 11 When men strive together with one another, and the wife of the one draws near to deliver her husband out of the hand of him who strikes him, and puts forth her hand and takes him by the secret parts, 12 then you shall cut off her hand. Your eye shall not pity. YLT 11 `When men strive together, one with another, and the wife of the one hath drawn near to deliver her husband out of the hand of his smiter, and hath put forth her hand, and laid hold on his secrets,12 then thou hast cut off her hand, thine eye doth not spare. ___21. Are the people doing things that are obviously sinful and condemned by God (e.g. lesbianism, homosexuality,bestiality, female with more than one male, sodomy, violence etc.) 1 THESS 5:21 GET RID OF THE STUFF Rom 13:14 ___22. Are the people involved doing a sinful act (two unmarried being intimate, lesbianism) ? GET RID OF IT ___23. Do you agree with God honoring those who fear Him and scornfully despising those vile and depraved reprobates who sin by showing their genitals or fornication in public, magazines &/or videos; whether or not they are clothed decently and presentably, whether or not you/they have covered their genitals? Psalm 15:4 ___24. Do you agree with God honoring those who fear Him and hating the deeds/work of the fallen &/or faithless who sin by showing their genitals &/or fornication in public, magazines &/or videos? Do you, even if they are clothed decently and presentably, whether or not you/they have covered their genitals? Psalm101:3 ____25. Are their vaginas/labias exposed through/in their sex sin? EZ 16:35,36 You shouldnÕt even set it before your eyes and do not delight* in (esteem, admire, applaud, approve of, consent to, agree with, sympathize with, have a favorable opinion of, have fellowship with, or accept as satisfactory) the people who do sex sin and/or bare their genitals? ROM. 1:32 Even if you cover their genitals and their faces, they are still immoral women who open their legs to show their genitals and you must not delight* in (esteem, admire, applaud, approve of, consent to, agree with, sympathize with, have a favorable opinion of, have fellowship with, or accept as satisfactory) the people who do sex sin and/or bare their genitals? ROM. 1:32 ___26. Do you agree with God honoring those who fear Him and scornfully despising those vile and depraved reprobates who sin by showing their genitals or fornication in public, magazines &/or videos? Psalm 15:4 DO YOU CONTEMN THE VILE AND DEPRAVED PERSON WHO BARES GENITALS AND FORNICATES? [psa. 15:4] ÒI cover their genitals, faces and personhood.Ó EVEN IF YOU COVER THEIR GENITALS ETC THEY ARE STILL THOSE WHO DO WICKEDLY. ___27. In contrast to God, do you approve of them (clothed or not) who sin by shewing their genitals &/or fornication in public, magazines, &/or videos? Do you say they are okay? Do you accept them for your eyes and soul? Got a problem![Rom. 1:32, ANT&NIV] ___a. Do you have/express a favorable opinion of them? Got a problem! ___b. Do you accept them as okay/satisfactory? ___c. Do you accept them, giving them your esteem and admiration? Got a problem! ___28. In contrast to God, do you applaud those (clothed or not) who show their genitals &/or fornication in public, magazines &/or videos? Do you express your approval and delight in them [by arousal, erection, orgasm, praise, encouragement, celebration]? Got a problem![Rom.1:32, ANT] ___29. Do they please you who displease God by showing their genitals &/or fornication in public, magazines &/or videos? Do you like them (clothed or not)? Do they give you pleasure? Do they make you feel good sexually? Do you take &/or get pleasure in &/or from them? [Rom. 1:32, Wuest] ___30. Do you consent to them (clothed or not), making an emotional/personal commitment/stand for/with them by agreeing/yielding/acquiescing to them so that they have access to your soul/eyes/mind by mags, videos or etc.? [Rom 1:32, Berk.Int. + ASV + AG & TH. ___31.Do you * delight* in (esteem, admire, applaud, approve of, consent to, agree with, sympathize with, have a favorable opinion of, have fellowship with, or accept as satisfactory) the people who do sex sin and/or bare their genitals? ROM. 1:32 No, I cover their faces so so they are no longer personalities, but just bodies that canÕt be identified as a person. *Amp.B: ...but approve & applaud others who practice them. *NIV: ...but also approve of those who practice them(ag). approve:have or express a favorable opinion of them accept them as satisfactory, give them sanction to be esteemed or admired *Peshita:.but also associate with those who practice them *ASV:..but also consent with them that practise them. *AGTH:are pleased at the same time with those that do them are consenting to those that do them (ag) are agreeing with those that do them (ag) are applauding those that do them are sympathizing with those who do them (ag) *IF YOU KNOW/KNEW SHE BARES/D HER GENITALS PUBLICLY,THEN YOU MUST NOt 1.approve of HER OR HER BODY OR desire to do sin with her 2.express a favorable opinion of HER OR HER BODY , 3. accept HER OR HER BODY as satisfactory, 4. give sanction to HER OR HER BODY , 5. esteem HER OR HER BODY or admire HER OR HER BODY.... If you do not approve of what they do, say or practice it would appear that you are not approving them. NOT NECESSARILY SO. YOU CAN STILL ADMIRE SOMEONE AND DESPISE WHAT THEY DO. If you have to cover them up before you can approve of them, then you donÕt approve of them showing their nakedness. If you withhold your approval until they are appropriately covered, then you donÕt appprove of them uncovering and showing themselves. BUT THE POINT IS, WHETHER THEY ARE COVERED OR NOT, ARE THEY PEOPLE WHO DO SUCH SIN? IF THEY ARE SUCH PEOPLE WHO DO SUCH SIN, THEN YOU MUST NOt approve of them [INCLUDING THEIR BODIES, applaud them OR THEIR BODIES, have or express a favorable opinion of them OR THEIR BODIES, accept them OR THEIR BODIES as satisfactory, give sanction to them OR THEIR BODIES, esteem them or THEIR BODIES, OR admire them OR THEIR BODIES. EVEN IF YOU COVER THEIR FACES/GENITALS IT IS STILL THEM WHO YOU MUST NOT ACCEPT, ESTEEM, ADMIRE OR ENJOY.. DOES THAT MEAN ESTEEMING OR ADMIRING THEIR BEAUTY? Remember the Word about lusting after their beauty? ÒIf I cover their faces it is no longer their beauty, but just a beautiful body belonging to who knows who?Ó YOU KNEW THAT IT WAS A WOMAN WHO WAS DOING SIN AND EVEN AFTER YOU COVER HER FACE AND GENITALS YOU STILL KNOW THAT IT WAS A WOMAN DOING SIN BY SHOWING HER GENITALS/SIN. *IF YOU KNOW/KNEW SHE IS/WAS A FORNICATOR/ADULTERESS /HARLOT, *IF YOU KNOW/KNEW SHE BARES/D HER GENITALS PUBLICLY, THEN YOU MUST NOt 1.approve of HER OR HER BODY OR desire to do sin with her 2.express a favorable opinion of HER OR HER BODY , 3. accept HER OR HER BODY as satisfactory, 4. give sanction to HER OR HER BODY , 5. esteem HER OR HER BODY or admire HER OR HER BODY.... WHETHER OR NOT SHE IS BARE OR SEX SINNING IN THE PICTURE AT HAND. IF YOU KNOW SHE DOES THOSE KINDS OF THINGS, THEN YOU HAVE NO BUSINESS ENJOYING, DELIGHTING IN, ESTEEMING OR ADMIRING HER OR desiring to do sinful things with HER BEAUTY, ???????BECAUSE HER BEAUTY IS A PART OF HER JUST LIKE HER FACE IS HER OR FINGERPRINTS ARE HER?????????? GET RID OF HER PICTURES SO YOU WONT BE TEMPTED TO ENJOY, DELIGHT IN, ESTEEM OR ADMIRE HER IN HER BEAUTY WHICH SHE USES TO SIN AND GET YOU INTO SIN. Psalm 101:3 I will set no wicked/worthless thing before mine eyes: I hate the work of them that turn aside; it shall not cleave to me. (Phil. 4:8) ***Prov. 5:8 Remove thy way far from her, and come not nigh the door of her house: ***Prov. 5:20 And why shouldest thou, my son, be enraptured with an immoral woman, and embrace the bosom of a seductress? ***Prov. 6:25 Lust not after her beauty in thy heart, neither let her take thee with her eyelids;Matt. 5:32 ***Prov. 6:32 Whoso committeth adultery with a woman is void of understanding: he that doeth it destroyeth his own soul. ITÕS NOT A QUESTION OF WHAT SHE IS DOING AT THE MOMENT. ITÕS A QUESTION OF WHAT KIND OF WOMAN IS SHE AND WHAT KIND OF THINGS DOES SHE DO, WHETHER OR NOT SHE IS DOING IT NOW OR IN THE PICTURE. If you donÕt approve of the showing their genitals , then you are not approving of WHAT THEY ARE DOING. YOU CAN STILL ADMIRE SOMEONE AND DESPISE WHAT THEY DO. GOD MAKE IT PLAIN IT IS SINFUL ERROR TO ADMIRE,ESTEEM APPROVE OF PEOPLE WHO DO SIN. YOU CAN PRAY FOR THEM AND COMPASSIONATELY CHERISH THEM WITHOUT ESTEEMING ADMIRING, ENJOYING THEM. YOU CAN ADMIRE, ESTEEM AND ENJOY THE GOOD THING SINNERS DO, BUT YOU CANNOT ADMIRE, ESTEEM AND ENJOY THE SINNING SINNER. ***Prov. 5:8 Remove thy way far from her, and come not nigh the door of her house: ***Prov. 5:20 And why shouldest thou, my son, be enraptured with an immoral woman, and embrace the bosom of a seductress? ***Prov. 6:25 Lust not after her beauty in thy heart, neither let her take thee with her eyelids;Matt. 5:32 ***Prov. 6:32 Whoso committeth adultery with a woman is void of understanding: he that doeth it destroyeth his own soul. ROM. 1:32 who knowing the righteous judgment of God, that they who do such things are worthy of death, not only practice them, but have fellow delight in those who do [them]. >>>>ROM. 1:32 WHO KNOWING THE JUDGMENT OF GOD , THAT THEY WHICH COMMIT SUCH THINGS ARE WORTHY OF DEATH , NOT ONLY DO <4160> THE SAME -------------- "do" =STRONGS:<4160> poieo {poy-eh'-o} [IF IT IS IN :"[*.......*]", THEN IT IS TYLER'S] 1a) produce [*such sins*] , construct [*such sinful pictures*] ,form [*such sinful objects*], fashion [*such sin*] 1b) . [are] the authors of [*such sin*], [are] the cause [of] [*such sin*]; 1c). make ready [*such sin*],... prepare[*such sin*] 1i). make one [*do such sin*].. .1i1) cause one to... [*do such sin*].. 2b) ... do ...[*such sin*].. ... unto one, 1e)... acquire [* such sin*]..,... provide ..[*such sin*] for one's self, 1j) .[are] the authors of [*such sin*] ...(... cause, bring about [*such sin*] ) 2a1) ... carry out [*such sin*] , ... execute [*such sin*] .. 2d) . celebrate [*such sin*] , keep [*such sin*] .. 2d1) ... make ready [*such sin*] . , 2e) .. perform: to a promise [*such sin*] ...[as under contract] , >>>>BUT HAVE PLEASURE IN <4909> ------------- STRONG'S <4909> suneudokeo {soon-yoo-dok-eh'-o} 1) to be pleased together with, to approve together (with others) 2) *to be pleased at the same time with, consent, agree to 2a) to applaud* In Ronese: to like, permit, agree to, to praise/celebrate and encourage <4909> Tense - Present; Voice - Active; Mood - Indicative *=Arndt & Gingrich and Thayer all agree with this def. have pleasure in are pleased together with approve together with are pleased at the same time with consent/agree with applaud [praise/celebrate/encourage] >>>> THOSE WHO DO [THEM]. them who exercise them them who practise them them who are busy with them them who carry them on them who undertake them them who do them them who accomplish them themwho perform them them who commit them them who perpetrate them them who manage them publicly them who transact them publicly them who exact revenue from them them who act them SO WHAT IS THE SOLUTION FOR THE BURNING WITHIN ME FROM THE CONFLICT BETWEEN MY BODY WITH ITS HORMONES AND THE SPIRIT WITHIN MY BODY??? KJV 1 Corinth. 7: 8 I say therefore to the unmarried and widows, It is good for them if they abide even as I. 9 But if they cannot contain, let them marry: for it is better to marry than to burn. >>>1Co.7:9a BUT IF THEY CANNOT contain, let them marry.<<<<<<< 12 Strong's exhaustive concordance; Baker Book House; Grand Rapids, Mich.12---------Ò3756 ou {oo} .. a primary word, the absolute negative [cf 3361] adverb; particle 1) no, not; in direct questions expecting an affirmative answerÓ So Strong's shows us that there is no Greek basis for the word ÒcanÓ. It was supplied by the translators. When the KJV translators translated the very same word, without the negative ÒnotÓ, in 1 Cor. 9:25 (And every man that strives for the mastery is temperate <1467> (5736) in all things. ) they use Òis temperateÓ, not Òcan be temperateÓ, to translate <1467> so even they are inconsistent. >>>1Co.7:9b- But if they cannont CONTAIN , let them marry.<<<<<<<< [StrongÕs<1467> (5736)], StrongÕs1467 egkrateuomai {eng-krat-yoo'-om-ahee} middle voice from 1468 1) to be self-controlled, continent 1a) to exhibit self-government, conduct, one's self temperately 1b) in a figure drawn from athletes, who in preparing themselves for the games abstained from unwholesome food, wine, and sexual indulgence 5736 Tense - Present; Voice - Middle or Passive Deponent; Mood - Indicative >>>1Co.7:9c- But if they cannot contain, LET THEM MARRY <<<<<<<< [StrongÕs <1060> (5657)]: ÒStrongÕs 1060: gameo {gam-eh'-o} from 1062>.>.. 1) to lead in marriage, take to wife 1a) to get married, to marry 1b) to give one's self in marriage 2) to give a daughter in marriage StrongÕs 5657 Tense - Aorist; Voice - Active------- The active voice represents the subject as the doer or performer of the action. E.g., in the sentence, "The boy hit the ball," the boy performs the action. Mood - Imperative The imperative mood corresponds to the English imperative, and expresses a command to the hearer to perform a certain action by the order and authority of the one commanding. Thus, Jesus' phrase, "Repent ye, and believe the gospel" (Mk.1:15)is not at all an "invitation," but an absolute command requiring full obedience on the part of all hearers.Ó Does "let them marry" mean "You let/permit/allow them to marry"? Is ÒYouÓ the Òhearer [who is] to performÓ the action of marrying in this passage? J. Gresham Machen, D.D., Litt.D; in his Macmillan Co. Greek manual, states the following: "The imperative mood is used in commands>.>.It will be observed that the English language has, properly speaking, no imperative of the third person. Hence in translating the Greek imperative of the third person we have to use the helping verb let, so that the noun or pronoun that is the subject of the imperative in Greek becomes the object of the helping verb in English." So in Òif they cannot exercise self-control, let them marry.Ó it means ---- --- Òthat the>..pronoun (them) that is the subject (third person plural: they) of the imperative (marry) in Greek becomes the object (them) of the helping verb (let) in English.Ó So a literal translation of Òlet them marryÓ would be Òthey are commanded to marry" by the order and authority of the one commanding (The Holy Spirit in Paul); or simply, Òthey are commanded to marry.Ó Who is commanded to marry? Those who donÕt exercise self-control. THERE IS NO INDICATION AS TO WHO THEY SHOULD MARRY. IN THE OLD TESTAMENT THE "WHO" WAS INDENTIFIED (See Deut. 22 and Ex. 22) BUT WE ARE NO LONGER BOUND BY THOSE LAWS (Acts 15; Eph. 2; Col. 2). We know that He does not want us to marry the unsaved (2 Cor. 6) or saints living in sin (2 Th. 3:6-14; 1 Cor. 5:9-11; 1 Tim. 6:1-5; 2 Tim. 3:1-5). It's obvious that He wants us to marry "in the Lord". >>>1 Cor.7:9----FOR IT IS BETTER TO MARRY THAN TO BURN.<<<< What a shame most women have no idea of what the average male's testosterone sex drive does to him, how it can make him burn. Granted about half of males have low mid-range to low testosterone levels as well as nocturnal emission, so they have little or no problem turning off or on their sex lives. The low testosterone level males may have a great deal of difficulty turning on their sex lives. Women have no idea that the sex drive in that half of the male who have mid to high testosterone levels in their blood is as burning and compelling as the hunger drive when the stomach is growling and cramping for lack of food; or as the thirst drive when the tongue, throat and mouth are so dry it is even difficult to talk; as the rest drive when it is impossible to keep the eyes open or the body erect due to utter exhausion. These same women would not normally ignore such hunger/thirst signs, nor say that they would take cold showers and exercise to overcome such hunger/thirst signs. If they chose to fast, go without food and drink, by the second day they would be too weak to do their daily work and chores, and by the third day they would be too weak walk far or stand for long periods of time. As one who has fasted and prayed three days without food or drink, I know. Yet they fault the mid to high testosterone blood level male for not being able to ignore his burning and compelling sex drive and do without. When the men who are not blessed with natural nocturnal emission (wet dreams) have gone without sexual release for several days, the prostrate becomes so congested that it begins to squeeze shut the uretha so they cannot urinate normally and the effect on the brain is that those males are so distracted and distractable, especially by anything female, that quite literAlly their minds could be said to be weakened in that it is very difficult to concentrate or focus on necessary tasks. If women could think of their nasal sinuses being so congested that they cannot breath, or of the problems with urination that a woman has with urination when 8 or 9 months pregnant, then maybe they could understand the problems prostrate congestion can cause. Without release, ejaculation, they could become so distracted and distractable by anything that, as with too much alcohol, their judment and thinking is impaired and foolish (risky), dangerous (AIDS,HIV) or irrational behaviour resultswhich results in burns. To help his wife or daughter understand the effect of testosterone on a male in relationship with his woman whom he loves and desires passionately, a man might do the following. (1) Take his lady out to eat her favorite meal. Order the meal, talking it up to maximize her anticipation and desire for it (2). When the meal is served, ask her take a minute to look carefully at each item (how it is arranged, how it appears). Ask her to smell each item. Ask her to take one fork/spoon serving of each item and eat it, one at a time. Ask her if she is pleased and still wants it (3). If she replies that she is ready and eager to eat and wants no more delay, then gently, sweetly, carefully ask/beg/entreat her to trust you in what you are about to do and that she go along with what you are about to do. If she will cooperate, ask the waiter/waitress to doggy bag the meal(4). She will probably need a lot of reassurance at this point, so tell her that if she will go along with you it will significantly improve her marriage. Hopefully she will believe you, reluctantly. Ask her to carry the bagged food in the car on her lap, or on the floor at her feet. Turn on the heater of your car with a little floor heat so the smell of the food will rise to her face(5). When you get home, ask her to carry it and put it in the refrigerator (6). She will probably need more encouragement to do this. Ask/beg/entreat her to trust you and cooperate. Ask her if she likes the way that the evening has gone so far. Ask her how she feels about her favorite meal, cooling off in the refrigerator. Sit her down and gently, compassionately and wisely explain to her what follows next. The Òfavorite mealÓ to him is HER (1). He approaches, anticipates, and awaits her with eager expectation(2). Tell her that everytime he sees, smells, hears, touches and/or tastes her lips/skin, it is what she felt above (3). Explain that the bagging of the food in front of her (4) is what he feels when she says to him ÒHoney! Not tonight.Ó, ÒI have a headache and I just donÕt feel like it right now.Ó, ÒAll you think of is sex! Chill out baby! Not tonight!Ó, ÒWhat have you done lately to deserve it, baby?Ó. Explain to her that the carrying of the pleasantly aromatic food home on her lap in the car is like when he is near her but canÕt feast on her, canÕt fully enjoy her(5). Explain that her putting the nice warm and delicious food in the refrigerator is what he experiences when he has to go to bed or part from her without having had the honor, the privilege, the delightful pleasure, the soul fulfilling experience of feasting on her and her many delectables (6). Explain patiently and gently and that for him his sexual drive is an appetite, and his appetite is for her - his favorite feast. Explain that to be near her is like ordering and receiving his favorite meal, her. Explain that when he is denied his compelling hunger and thirst for her, it is painful and hard to bear. Explain that it is a soul wrenching experience. Explain that he NEEDS he even more than he WANTS her. Appeal to her experience with the deferred meal to understand how frustrating and emotionally troubling it is to be denied her. If nothing else, lay the Word on her----how it is the will of God for her to feed the hungry, and seeing his need and her ability to meet it -- pray that she will be moved with compassion and meet his need. And explain that his responsibility is to receive the wonderful and gracious gift that she is and has, is to gently and kindly and thoughtfully enjoy her---seeking to give her as much pleasure as possible. If he doesnÕt do that, then he is the swine that had pearls thrown before him, the fool who has no idea of the value of his precious possession and hides it away from all, even from himself. If the smile and expressions of delight on her face and the utterances of fulfillment and ecstasy on her lips are not as important to him as his hunger for and need of her, then he is unworthy of her. Perhaps such an unworthy one could show genuine repentance (2Cor7) and humble himself under the mighty hand of His God and under the authority He has given his wife over his body, and become a learner of how to please and delight his woman. A man who acts like Nabal with his wife, will surely face the fate of a Nabal. As a male with mid to high testosterone and no nocturnal emission when I was in high school, my Urologist (Vital Haynes,MD), told me I had a few options to prevent my recurring prostrate congestion. He said that I, at age 17, could either get married and be intimate frequently, be promiscuous frequently, self-stimulate quite frequently, become homosexual (the penis in the anus squeezes the seminal fluid out of the prostrate), or come into his office two to three times a week for him to massage/press the seminal fluid out of my prostrate (too expensive and embarassing). Cold showers, exercise and being spiritual just did not empty the prostrate so I could urinate normally and have my mind clear of testosterone distractions. For the mid to high testosterone male, sexual release is just as much as physical need as food, drink, and sleep. The question such men have to deal with is, "How can I have the testosterone release I need so I can take care of daily business and be acceptable to Jesus?" One obvious answer is marriage (1 Cor. 7:1,2,5,9) with a wife who understands his sexual needs and is committed to ministering to him in his need in Christ, and as unto Christ (Matt. 25:34,35,36), so that his physical need of the release/ejaculation can be met and they can get on with their lives. BUT I'M UNDER 18, A MINOR WHO IS BURNING AND FAILING TO STAND WHEN TEMPTED, AND MY FOLKS WONT LET ME MARRRY! First I would prayerfully study Daniel 10 and go on Daniel three week fast (abstaining from meat, alcoholic drinks, all your favorite foods/drinks, foods with sugar added etc) involving at least one hour a day in prayer where at least half of that time is quietly waiting (with ear plugs on to eliminate distractions if necessary) on God to speak to you through His Spirit and Word; and at least one hour a day of meditation on the Word (perhaps 30 min Old Testament and 30 min New Testament). If you are still losing the battle and burning in tempted torment, failing all too often and not sure of winning the next round of temptations, then I would recommend that you go on Esther's three day fast (Esther 4:13-17), after consulting a doctor, making sure to not stop taking any medication you are daily taking, and taking only water with such medication (if the medication must be taken with food you obviously cannot do this fast). Preparations for such a fast include eating no meat, cheese or dairy products for three days before you begin the fast, taking a laxative two days before the fast, eating no solids the day before the fast. When doing that fast I recommend that you avoid all social contact if possible. I pulled my blinds, disconnected my phone, TV and radios and did no work for the three days of the fast giving my self almost entirely to meditating in the Word, praying about the issues facing me and praying for all that he brought to mind. Fasting with out serious prayer in solitude is just a crash diet, except for Daniel's 10 diet. If you are still in defeat, burning and losing the battles one month after these two fasts, then read on. What if Jesus commands me to marry because of my burning turmoil struggling with all the testosterone temptations, and my parents tell me I can't marry??? Ezekiel 20:18 with Ezekiel 18 and Acts 4:19-25 show that when the authorities appointed by God (Rom 13) tell you to disobey God or try to influence you to disobey God's explicit commands, you have to disobey them in order to obey God. So, Yes, that means that if a minor is burning from the struggle with his testosterone temptations, and doing a significant amount of losing so much so that he is not sure of winning the next battle, he has to obey God and begin seeking marriage, even informal-private-covenanted marriage described below, as God's solution for his losing battle. That it can be done I do know. Two 17 year olds were very bright and very much in love. Their parents approved of their relationship and saw their need to marry and let them marry at 18. As long as they kept from having children and stayed in school full time the parents supported them with lodging, food, clothing and medical insurance. They graduated from college with honors, earned their Ph. D.'s with honors and were both teaching/researching at MIT when they finally became parents themselves. It worked beautifully. If the parents don't support the relationship, fasting and prayer and follow the Word. The closest the female comes to this experience, except for the women of the next paragraph, is in her PMS where her mind is bombarded with hormones etc. making many to be quite distracted and temporarily not their normal selves. It is extremely difficult for a woman to understand that testosterone can make a godly man REALLY NEED (not just want) the physical marital love making of a godly wife. It is not just a matter of the will and the mind, just like the physical needs for food, drink and sleep. The widow, abandonned, deserted or rejected mate, who is left burning for the sexual affection and attention of her departed husband/lover (1Cor.7:5; 1Tim.5:11-14), has a very real and intense sex drive, not fueled by testosterone, but by an emotional/affectionate need created by the wonderful addiction to marital sex with her husband, now departed. She can actually feel, in her memory, the stimulation of her whole body or particular erotic zones that love making with her husband activated. Those affectionate and erogenous memories create an intense aching longing for that whole body experience she had in orgasm with her husband. Even a formerly promiscuous woman who knew no other love than that she had in sex with "tricks/Johns" or just guys, feeling such an aching and yearning desire for affectionate attention, can burn with desire for that sexual affection and attention. Mind, emotional and heart addictions can generate such a desperate burning that their judgment is impaired, their reasoning clouded, and their mind so distracted that they are capable of doing very foolish and life threatening things. The Urologist mentioned above mentioned self-stimulation as an option. It is a veritable mine field but better than promiscuity- forniation, homosexuality, expensive doctor's treatments and more feasible than marriage if you are in junior high or senior high. THERE IS NO SCRIPTURE IN THE WHOLE BIBLE THAT CONDEMNS OR LABELS AS SIN SELF-SITMULATION TO ORGASM. The key to sanctified self-stimulation to orgasm is in Matt. 5:27-30; 15;18,19 etc. To self-stimulate yourself to orgasm thinking of doing something that the Bible says is sinful is just as bad for YOUR soul as actually doing the sin. Bringing yourself to orgasm remembering your lovemaking with your mate is covered by the holiness and sanctification surrounding the marriage bed (marital intimacy). A careful study of the Prov. 5:13-22 and Song of Solomon will show the appropriateness on imagining, rembering and mentally imaging your mate and your love making with your mate. Bringing yourself to orgasm by self stimulation thinking of and enjoying only the feel of it, the feelings induced and the orgasmic climax is one way to go that is not sinful in and of itself, but it can lead to selfishness, self- centeredness and a narcistic fascination and obsession with your own body that could get in the way of a healthy love for a woman's body in marriage later. Since self-stimulation is a matter of personal liberty and conscience in Christ, surely Romans 13 and related passages apply. And certainly the principles of Romans 14 and l Cor 8 & 10 apply. Before one may self-stimulate in the peace of Christ, the following principles must be observed. The following is a brief summary of those principles: 1. Receive the weak in faith (their faith allows them very little personal liberty) but not to dispute doubtful things/points>61 . Doubtful things are things that the Bible is not explicitly clear about leaving a gray area for individuals to exercise their own judgment (e.g. eating meat vs. vegetarianism, length of dress, courtship and engagement, television, movies, computer use etc.) 2. Don't despise or condemn your brother/sister in Christ if (1) they feel free to do doubtful things or (2) they don't feel free to do doubtful things>62 3. Don't put a stumbling block, an occasion to take offense, put an obstacle in the way>82 , give someone an opportunity for sinning>63 4. Don't make your brethren uneasy>83 or hurt, injure or damage others' feelings>84. 5. Don't destroy your brethren's faith with your personal liberty>64 6. Let not the personal liberty your faith allows be evil spoken of>65 7. Do that which builds and helps the faith of your brethren>66 . 8. Don't put a temptation to sin in someone's way>.85 , or do that which leads another to sin>.86 . 9. Have your faith from the Word that allows you your personal liberty privately, discretely and personally before God and be happy in it>67 10. Don't do anything you have doubts about, doubts about whether or not it is God's will for you to do, be or have)>68 11. If your faith is strong allowing you a great deal of personal liberty, you should bear the weaknesses of those whose faith allows little personal liberty, not pleasing ourselves. Seek to please your brethren for their good, growth and development in the Lord and Word>69 . [Footnote: [>61 (Rm.14:1) >62 . (Rm. 14:3,4) >.82 Please see Arndt & Gingrich's Lexicon. >83 Please see Thayer's Lexicon. >63 . (Rm. 14:13). >.84 Please see Arndt & Gingrich's Lexicon. >64 . (Rm 14:15). >65 (Rm. 14:16,17). >66 (Rm. 14:18,19). >.85 (Rm. 14:13)Please see Arndt & Gingrich's Lexicon. >.86 Please see Thayer's Lexicon. >67 (Rm.14:22). >68 . (Rm. 14:23). >69 . (Rm. 15:1-3)] If you can manage the privacy, there is yet another way to go if you are burning and unable to marry. Love dolls, inflatable or solid, can be purchased by mail or in adult stores around most big cities. Nowhere in the Bible does it say that it is a sin to come to orgasm by/with a "love doll"----it is what is going on in your head that counts (Matt 5 and 15). If you are thinking thoughts/deeds forbidden by God while coming to orgasm by the love doll, it is sin. If you are thinking of having intercourse with your girl friend while you are having intercourse withthe love doll, your mind has you in sin. The danger of using a love doll for sexual release, if you can keep your mind from what God forbids and calls sin, is that you may form a dangerous mental/affectionate bond with the doll, to the extent that it might even keep you from normal relationships with living dolls. When you begin to treat it as if it has feelings, care about it as if it has feelings, take care of it as if it were a real girl, dream and fantasize about it when away from it, miss it emotionally when away from it -- you've crossed the line of good mental health and you must get rid of it and seek another solution from God. My solution as a born-again junior and senior higher and college student was to bring myself to orgasm thinking of or looking at female beauty, no genital shots--no exposed genitalia, the feminine curves/colors/shapes/ shades/etc without thinking of doing anything to or with their breasts or genitals---thus violating no command of the Lord in scripture. The hazard of this is that later in marriage you may have difficulty climaxing in normal coital intercourse and you or her may have to stimulate your genital manually to climax. Another hazard is that you may become over sensitized to female beauty and over react emotionally (verbally, physically) in the presence of attractive females, to the point of idolatry or obsession with their beauty. Or you go to your endocrinologist and ask him if he could give you anything that would bring your testosterone level down to low normal (don't let it get too low because then the temptation will be homosexuality, and being effeminate. Try to get good Biblical and psychological counseling. If that doesn't work, read on. AND THE LORD SAID IT IS BETTER TO MARRY THAN TO BURN. 1 Corinthians 7:9a in various versions: DBY1>.13 DarbyÕs.3 "But if they have not control over themselves, " NEB1>.14 New English Bible (version 2) 1970.4 "if they cannot control themselves, "(So also NIV) YLT1>.15 YoungÕs Literal Translation.5 and "if they have not continence--" NKJV1>.16 New King James Version, 1984: This version uses the word "cannot" with refernce to the exercise of self-control, "cannot exercise self-control" MKJV1>.17 OnLine BibleÕs Modern King James Version: This version uses "do not" with reference to having self-control. ASV1>.18 American Standard Version, 1901.8 "But if they have not continency, " LP1>.19 LamsaÕs Peshitta, 1957.9 "But if they cannot endure it, " AB2>.20 Amplified Bible, 1965.0 "But if they have not self-control (restraint of their passions), " WNT2>.21 WuestsÕs New Testament, 1961.1 "But assuming that they are not able to exercise self-control in the realm of the continent life, "........ 1 Cor. 7:9b invarious versions continued: DBY " let them marry; " (so also LP) NEB "they should marry." (so also NIV) ASV "let them marry" (so also YLT, MKJV, WNT & NKJV) AB they should marry. 1 Cor. 7:9c in various translations cont.: DBY "for it is better to marry than to burn." (so also ASV, MKJV NEB "Better be married than burn with vain desire." YLT "for it is better to marry than to burn;" LP" for it is better to marry than to burn with passion. " (So also NIV, NKJV AB "For it is better to marry than to be aflame (with passion and tortured continually with ungratified desire)." WNT "for it is more advantageous to marry than to continue to burn [with the heat of sexual passion}" So the way this writer gets it is a modified DBY: ÔBut if they have not control over themselves, they should marry; For it is better to marry than to burn.Õ Now if the mighty God of the universe tells me I should marry, just being thankful in Christ that He has taken the time to know me and deal with me, I would be asking ÒWhoÓ and ÒWhenÓ. Now I know I need to obey my Lord Jesus (Heb.5:8,9; 1John2:1-5), and since He has told me I NEED to/SHOULD marry and promised to supply all my needs according to His riches, then I need to prepare myself forWHOEVER of the saints He provides (seek and ye shall find), knowing that He will LEAD that saint to be willing to marry me ----- and shame on me if I am too selfish and particular to accept the one He provides! 1Tim. 5:11-15 show us another circumstance where God inspires the expression of His will that someone marry, whether or not they want. 1 Cor. 7:5 shows why she cannot remain unmarried, Satan tempting her because of her lack of self-control. 1 Cor. 7:9 and 1 Tim. 5:11-15 show us God's will when we fail to have or exercise self-control, it is better to marry than to burn."Who" they should marry is not indicated, as it used to be in the Old Testament, but certainly they should marry "in the Lord". The next passage is seen in two ways, has three possible translations, which apply and pertain to believers in the world today. The first is that it applies to a "brother" and his own virginity. The second, that it applies to a fiancŽ and his fiancee (engaged but not married), or a couple in some kind of relationship where they both agree that she is "his virgin". The first and second translations are very much like 1 Cor. 7:9 and 1 Tim. 5:11- 15, the people involved come under God's command to marry. In the case of the fiancŽ and fiancŽe, the "who to marry" is clear and indicated. The third translation, applies to a father and his virgin daughter, may or may not involve the daughter's failure to exercise self-control, and may involve other factors. If the father's virgin daughter is burning and failing to control herself, the father would behave "unseemly" with regard to his daughter if she has come under God's command to marry and he refuses to let her marry. Refusing to let her marry would be to cast a stumbling block (Rom.14) in her way, setting her up for the disgrace and dishonor of failing to control herself in her "burning". If the father's saved virgin daughter was burning and failing ot control-self with her saved sweetheart, the obvious command to the father is "let them marry", i.e. they are commanded to marry (1 Co. 7.9). >>>1 Cor. 7:36 ¦ BUT IF ANY ONE THINK THAT HE BEHAVES UNSEEMLY. . <<<<<<<<<<< [Young's Literal Translation: 1 Cor. 7:36 ¦ and if any one doth think [it] to be unseemly2>.22c [Arndt & Gingrich: behave disgracefully, dishonorably, indecently . . . 1 Cor. 13:5 . . . if anyone thinks he is behaving dishonorably toward his maiden 7:36. [Thayer: to act unbecomingly . . . 1 Co. xiii.5; . . . contextually, to prepare disgrace for her, 1 Co. vii. 36. [ Harper & Brothers The Analytical Greek Lexicon: to behave in an unbecoming manner, or indecorously, 1 Co. 13.5; to behave in a manner open to censure,1 Co. 7:36.2c to his virgin] >>>1 Co. 7:36 TO HIS VIRGINITY, IF HE BE BEYOND THE FLOWER OF HIS AGE. . . <<<<<<<<<<<< [Arndt & Gingrich: . . . it may apply either to the woman past one's prime, past marriageable age, past the bloom of youth . . . or to the man . . . with strong passions. Thayer: . . . 2. overripe, plump and ripe, (and soin greater danger of defilement): of a virgin ] [R.V. past the flower of her age ], 1 Co. vii. 36 [( Harper & Brothers: past the bloom of life) >>>1 Cor. 7:36 AND SO IT MUST B E, LET HIM DO WHAT HE WILL, HE DOES NOT SIN: LET THEM MARRY. <<<<<<<<<<<<< Does "let them marry" mean "You let/permit/allow them to marry"? Is ÒYouÓ the Òhearer [who is] to performÓ the action of marrying in this passage? See the J. Gresham Machen, D.D., Litt.D, quote above in the 1 Cor. 7:9 discussion. So in Òif they cannot exercise self-control, let them marry.Ó it means ---Òthat the>..pronoun (them) that is the subject (third person plural: they) of the imperative (marry) in Greek becomes the object (them) of the helping verb (let) in English.Ó So a literal translation of Òlet them marryÓ would be Òthey are commanded to marry" by the order and authority of the one commanding (The Holy Spirit in Paul); or simply, Òthey are commanded to marry.Ó Agreeing with the KJV and RV Greek meaning that Òthey are commanded to marryÓ you have the NIV, Wuest's EXPANDED NEW TESTAMENT, NEW KING JAMES VERSION, AMPLIFIED BIBLE, THE NEW ENGLISH BIBLE (1970), the AMERICAN STANDARD VERSION (1901), Berry's INTERLINEAR. The NIV agrees with the fiancŽ and fiancŽe meaning, as do the AMPLIFIED BIBLE, THE NEW ENGLISH BIBLE (1970), THE NEW KING JAMES VERSION, the footnote of the AMERICAN STANDARD VERSION (1901), Agreeing with the father and his virgin daughter meaning are WUESTS EXPANDED NEW TESTAMENT, the footnote in the NEW KING JAMES VERSION, Lamsa's HOLY BIBLE, the NEW AMERICAN STANDARD BIBLE (1977), the footnote of THE NEW ENGLISH BIBLE (1970), the AMERICAN STANDARD VERSION (1901), Lamsa's HOLY BIBLE. if she may be beyond the bloom of age, and it ought so to be, what he willeth let him do; he doth not sin--let him marry = Darby. This is Darby's Online Bible 19th Cent. version, and Berry's Interlinear agrees with Darby that this is about one's own virginity. The Amplified indicates that v.37 is about one and his own virginity. The American Standard Version gives this "one and his own virginity" as an option in its notes According to Harper & Brothers Analytical Greek, this is the "3 per. pl. pres. imper. act." [of gameeo] so its pronoun would have to be "they". The imperative means that the third person, "they", are commanded to marry. Lockman's NEW AMERICAN STANDARD BIBLE, 1977, and Lamsa's Holy Bible, change the "them" of "let them marry" to "her" so that the meaning is changed to mean that the virgin daughter is commanded to marry, she is commanded to marry. This writer, Tyler, believes it is Òlet them marryÓ or Òthey should marryÓ. Modern King James Version (Greene's OnLine Bible) and The New King James Version gives this meaning in its main text. .The Amplified combines the two indicating that v.37 is about one and his own virginity. The American Standard Version gives this "one and his own virginity" as an option in its notes. 1 Cor.7:37 And he who hath stood stedfast in the heart--not having necessity--and hath authority over his own will, and this he hath determined in his heart--to keep his own virgin--doth well; 38 so that both he who is giving in marriage doth well, and he who is not giving in marriage doth better. KJV The New King James Version gives this meaning as an option in its notes. The American Standard Version, LamsaÕs Peshitta, YoungÕs Literal Translation seem to prefer this interpretation. The Amplified gives verses 36,38 this meaning. WuestÕs seems to prefer the father & virgin daughter meaning.The NEB gives the father daughter option in its notes.The NEB & NIV seem to prefer the man and his fiance interpretation. I believe that this is a shotgun verse, taking a number of valid targets. I believe it is up to the saint to be led by the Spirit in the Word to see which application, if any , applies to his or her case. If you find you or your loved one under the command to marry, then you should show Jesus your Love for Him and have a marriage (John14:15-21). If you find you and your loved one under His command to marry, it becomes a "need" on your part that He has promised to fill and your part is the "ask-knock-seek" part under the Spirit's leading. . 1 Corinthians 7:1 Now concerning the things about which you wrote to me, [it is] good for a man not to be touching a woman. 2. Nevertheless, [to avoid] sex sin every man is to be having his own woman and every woman is to be having her own man.....8.I say therefore, to the unmarried and widows, It is good for them if they abide [unmarried] even as I. But if they do not abstain [from touching/having one], they are [commanded] to marry. For it is better to marry than to burn [lustfully/passionately]......36. But if anyone think that he behaves himself improperly toward his virgin, if she has become marriageable, and so it must be, he is [commanded] to do what he wishes; he does not sin; they are [commanded] to marry. 37. Nevertheless he who stands steadfast in his heart, having no necessity, but has power over his own will, and so has determined in his heart that he will keep [as is] his virgin, does well. [See 1 Thessalonians 4:1-8.] 1 Timothy 5:11 But refuse [to enroll] younger widows; for when they have sensuous impulses contrary to Christ, they wish to marry.... 14. Therefore I desire that younger [widows] marry, bear children, manage the house, give no occasion to the adversary to speak reproachfully. [The difference between the old testament commands to marry (see above) and the New Testament commands to marry is that in the Old Testament God tells the one who erred WHO he must marry, and in the New Testament He just commands the uncontrolled one to marry and leaves it up to the uncontrolled one to find out WHO to marry by Phil. 4:6,7,8 & Romans 8:14. In other words, now, an uncontrolled saint might be sinfully intimate intermittently without commitment/covenant with an unsaved person, all the while under great conviction. That puts the uncontrolled saint under command (1Cor.7:9) to marry, but that saint is also under command not to marry the unsaved (2 Cor.6:14-7:3), so the uncontrolled saint must marry --- but not to the unsaved one of the intermittent intimacy without commitment/covenant. ] So there are two parts to the solution for a believer whose struggle with sex sin has more failures than bearable; 1. First do 1Jn1:9 with 2 Cor. 7; 2. Secondly marry the Spirit filled believer walking in the Spirit that God provides, and have enough sense to drop your own personal and preconceived prerequisites e.g. bodily appearance, education, social status, ethnic/racial status, economic status) if they arenÕt met by the one God provides. If, for some reason, you cannot marry but need to, there might be a third option to hold you in line until you can marry. This option is very controversial and should be used only after much prayer and soul searching. Brother George, I was so impressed by the thoroughness of your Bible study on tithing, I thought that you might be the brother who would have some key insights into this issue. This is a hot and current issue for many young people and single adults who profess to be Christian, to have been born again. Statistically, in America, the percentage of born again believers who are petting intimately and having sex outside of marriage is only a few points lower than the statistics for the general unbelieving population. I believe that the Christian community is losing the battle for the morality of their believing youth because they are teaching cultural tradtions, the religious traditions of the organized church, rather than the clear, specific and explicit Word of God (Mark 7 and Matt. 15). This is where the inquiry stands now. If the Lord leads you to share anything, I would be very interested. Date: Thu, 05 Jun 1997 17:54:58 +0200 From: cwarren@sn.no> Subject: Re: petting and singles To: Dt. 25:11 When men fight [each other], and the wife of one [of them] comes near to rescue her husband out of the hand of him that is hitting him, and reaches out her hand, and seizes him by his genitals,12 you shall cut off her hand. Your eye shall not spare her >Tyler: Does the questionable behavior involve hand to genital behavior? >>Warren: Of course. >Tyler: I don't see that the passage is that clear in and of itself Apparently the only adult male genitals a wife should handle are the genitals of her own husband. >>Warren: Because the point in question here has nothing to do with sexual stumulation but with disabling her husband's foe by assailing him in his most vulnerable place. The "secrets" (testicles) were a man's offspring, his future generations, and therefore sacred. >Tyler: I agree the point here is not stimulation but I believe the main point of the passage is adultery and the sanctity of marriage, i.e. the wife is to have sexual contact only with the genitals of her own husband. I believe that it is the sacredness of the marital bond, not the sacredness of the man's seed, that is in focus in this passage. >Tyler: God went to the trouble to lay down this rule for wives, so why didn't he go ahead and lay it down for all women in the matter of touching/handling the genitals of a male to whom they are not married? Why didn't forbid sisters/aunts/mothers/grandmothers from laying hold of the genitals of a male attacking their brother/nephew/son/grandson? ***Warren: You are asking questions out of a late 20th century context. Such sort of intimate contact would have been un thinkable in the socio-cultural context of the OT. >Tyler: Unthinkable in the socio-cultural context of the OT? Consider the following from Ezekiel 23: 2 Son of man, there were two women, the daughters of one mother. 3 And they did sexual sin in Egypt; they did sexual sin in their youth, their breasts were handled, and there their virgin nipples were worked. 8 Nor did she leave her sexual immoralities from Egypt. For in her youth they lay with her, and they worked her virgin nipples, and poured their sexual immoralities on her. 18 So she uncovered her sexual immoralities and uncovered her genitals. And My soul was alienated from her just as My soul was alienated from her sister. 19 Yet she multiplied her sexual immorlaities to recall the days of her youth, in which she had acted like the harlot in the land of Egypt. 20 And she desired that which was forbidden with her lovers, whose genitals are like the genitals of asses and whose seminal emission [is like] the seminal emission of horses. 21 So you longed for the wickedness of your youth, when the Egyptians worked your nipples, for the sake of the breasts of your youth. Consider Proverbs chapters 5, 6 and 7: 18 Let your fountain [genital] be blessed, and rejoice with the wife of your youth. 19 [Like] the loving deer and pleasant doe, let her breasts satisfy you at all times, and be ecstatically ravished always with her loving [i.e. and have orgasms always by her lovemaking]. 20 And why will you, my son, be ecstatically ravished with an unbelieving woman, and embrace [with caresses] the breasts of an unbeliever? 21 For the ways of man [are] before the eyes of the LORD, and He watches all his paths. 22 His own iniquities shall take the wicked himself, and he shall be held with the cords of his sin. 23 He shall die without instruction; and in the greatness of his folly he shall go astray. One could hardly ask for a more explicit and specific definition of sexual immorality than is provided here by the Holy Spirit. Couple this definition of sexual immorality with the definitions given in Leviticus 18, 19, 20; and Deuteronomy 22 and you have a very clear and explicit picture of what God considers sexual immoality, and of how you should not sexually touch a woman who is not your wife in the Lord. If you read Ezekiel 16 and Ezekiel 23 you see that such conduct was widespread in the socio-cultural context of the OT, including making love with statues and pornographic pictures, breast and genital petting and public nudity with multiple lovers. Such behavior was widespread in Israel also during the reigns of Ahab and Jezebel, and the other evil kings of Israel and Judah. So such behavior as hand-genital contact in heterosexual intimacy was a contemporary and current issue in Old Testament Israel. >Tyler: I can find no clear and direct link of scripture linking "uncleanness, licentiousness, lasciviousness" or "fornication" to the act of a free-to-marry unmarried woman touching/handling the genitals of a man to whom she is not married. What clear and explicit scripture would you use to help two 17 year olds whose parents wont let them marry, feel unready for the responsibilities of marriage, but when they are alone together in private she gets him so horny he goes crazy trying to handle his testosterone rush when they just hug and face-kiss, abstaining from her breasts and her genitals in order to avoid fornication, but both extremely conscious of his full erection and frenzied excitement, both burning with desire to get it out of his pants and put their hands on it together? The situation could be much more intense for a widowed/divorced/abandonned couple of adult singles. ***Warren: I think the NT is plain. "..the body is not for immorality, but for the Lord. Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ?..." (1 Cor.6:13,15, NASB). >Tyler: I believe that Biblical "immorality" is defined in such passages as Proverbs 5, Ezekiel 16 and especially Ezekiel 23, where we are told that fornication includes breast/nipple petting/manipulation, as well as lovemaking with pictures and statues and of course contact with the woman's genitals. The only mention of the male's genitals is when God discusses His adulterous wife making love with pictures/statues of males for their male genitalia and sperm (Ezek 23) and where the wife grabs the attacker's genitals. I still know of no scripture that specifically and explicitly deals with the single woman having contact with the genital of a male to whom she is not married. ***Warren: Yet a couple legally married in God's eyes, acting within the bounds of holy matrimony, are indeed bringing glory to God if they are not indulging in abberant sex but are enjoining coitus either to bring forth progeny or to give thanks to God. If a person cannot praise the Lord whilst in coitus then I would suggest that what they are doing is not in Christ. The Spirit will testify. To confront such a couple claiming to be Christian (if that is what they are) in the Name of Christ with such truth- statements will settle the matter because the Holy Spirit will not vindicate them. If they are unbelievers then they will not want to know the truth anyway (probably). However, this passage (if you want a legalistic argument) settles it for me. "It is good for a man not to touch a woman. But because of immoralities, let each man have his own wife, and let each woman have her own husband" (1 Cor.7:1-2, NASB). This very clear injunction tells us that a man is not even to TOUCH a woman until they are married. "Is it good for a man to KEEP AWAY from women..." (Ibid, JNT). Fornication = sexual intercourse, any form of sexual contact. >>>Tyler: Do you really mean "not even to touch a woman"? Please see STRONG'S 680: "haptomai {hap'-tom-ahee}; v 1) to fasten one's self to, adhere to, cling to 1a) to touch 1b) of carnal intercourse with a women or cohabitation 1c) of levitical practice of having no fellowship with heathen practices. Things not to be touched appear to be both women and certain kinds of food, so celibacy and abstinence of certain kinds of food and drink are recommended." Please see Thayer's Greek-English Lexicon ("to fasten one's self to , adhere to, cling to; carnal intercourse, cohabitation) and Arndth & Gingrich's Greek-English Lexicon ("touch, hold; intercourse with women). That the Word does not say a man should ever touch a woman is shown in Jesus' touching and being touched by women in His healing ministry, in Jesus' letting a woman kiss and wash his feet, in Jesus' command that we wash each other's feet (John 13), the requirement that women wash the brothers' feet (1 Tim. 5:10), and in Peter holding Tabitha's hand (Acts 9:41) when she revived. Strong's, Thayer and Arndt &Gingrich show, by their scholarly definition, that more is meant in 1 Cor. 7:1 than the touching of holding a woman's hand, washing a woman's feet, touching a woman's face with one's lips etc. They all agree that, when it comes to a man "touching a woman" it means "carnal intercourse", sexual intercourse, contact with the breasts and/or genitals of a woman who is not maritally bound to the man (Ezek. 23). How does a man sexually fasten himself to a woman, sexually adhere to a woman, and/or sexually cling to a woman? In the terms of Ezek chapters 16 and 23 (with Prov. 5) a man sexually fastens himself to a woman by means of his hands and/or genitals, touching/working/manipulating/handling her breasts and genitals. He sexually adheres or clings to her breasts and/or genitals with his hands/lips/ arms/legs. Such touching of a woman who is not your wife in the Lord is clearly labeled as fornication in the passages cited above. I believe that the command to not "touch a woman" does not forbid the touching of the asexual parts of a woman's body (arms, legs, back, neck, head, feet etc.). ***Warren: I really don't see your problem. The scriptures limit ANY form of sexual contact before marriage, including kissing. >Tyler: I agree, if by "sexual contact" you mean contact with a woman's breasts and/or genitals; and if by "kissing" you mean the act of a man kissing or touching of the breasts and/or genitals of a woman to whom he is not married righteously before God. **Warren: Is this couple you are describing acting for Christ? Is what they are doing bringing glory to Christ? Of course not! >Tyler: I agree that [1] if someone believes personally that it is wrong for a single woman to touch/hold the gential of a man to whom she is not married, it is clearly wrong for them to do so (Romans 14); [2] that if the man offends the woman or the woman offends the man by touching/holding his genital, it is wrong (Rom 14:13ff); [3] that if the woman's touching/holding the man's genital tempts/draws/leads either or both of them to touch her breasts and/or genitals without being married, it is wrong (Rom. 13:14ff); [4] that if the woman's touching/holding his genital grieves, offends and/or hurts the feelings of either party or anyone else who is aware of their being in such contact, it is wrong (Rom. 13:14ff); and [5] that if either the woman or the man have doubts about the "rightness" of her touching/handling his gential, it is wrong for her to do it and wrong for him to allow or encourage her to do it (Rom. 14:20-23). What if they are doing it for Christ to keep from what is clearly fornication (contact with her breasts and her genitals, Exek. 23), in that he is letting her stimulate his genital to orgasm to release his hormonal pressure without him touching her breasts or her genitals? What if they are doing it to meet his sexual needs (climax, testosterone release, prostrate congestion etc.) so that he wont be so tempted to have contact with her breasts and genitals outside of marriage, which is clearly fornication? What if she does it for the same reason that she feeds the hungry and gives drink to the thirsty, to meet his bodily need, his sexual appetite, in such a way that avoids the fornication of extra- marital contact with her breasts and her genitals? What if he asks her to help him in this way, without touching her breasts and her genitals? If the Christian liberty [not license] of a man and a single woman allows them to engage in her touching/holding his genitals out of the conviction that it is not contrary to the Word of God, that it is not prohibitted by the Word of God, free of any doubts about the "rightness" of such behavior for them, they must keep it private, personal and secretive to themselves and before God according to Romans 14:21-23, so as not to stumble, offend, grieve or spiritually harm their brethren whose consciences do not afford them such liberty. Personally I hope that no youths or singles would engage in this kind of intimate bonding experience without having first sought the Lord's leading in serious prayer with fasting (Esther's fast or Daniel's fast), and that they would have maritally committed (formally or informally) to each other and maritally covenanted (formally or informally) with each other before God to be husband and wife to each other in the Lord. SOME SCRIPTURAL GUIDELINES 1. God makes it very clear in His Word that He, as our Heavenly Father, instructs us not to Ògo withÓ, become engaged to, or marry anyone who is not a believer who is obeying the Word of God>#1. Being the Loving Father our God is, and the all wise King that Jesus is, God instructs us for our own well being that an obedient believer should not Ògo withÓ, become engaged to, or marry any ÒbelieverÓ who is disobeying GodÕs instructions, or any ÒbelieverÓ who believes or teaches things that contradict or are in conflict with GodÕs teachings in the Bible>#2. Yes, that really narrows the way for finding a godly mate and drastically reduces the number of eligible people but those who have been down the road can tell you that it is better to marry right than wrong, and that it is better not to marry than to marry wrong. It just makes the miracle of GodÕs provision even more miraculous, like Elijah pouring all that water over the sacrifice to be burned before God sent the consuming fire from Heaven. You have to have Faith in God to walk with God. You have to really trust Him before you can turn your hopes and dreams over to Him for His decision. [#1 2 Corinthians 6:11-7:1; 1 Corinthians 15:33; James 4:4; Exodus 34:12; 23:33; 1 Kings 11:1,2; Ezra 9:11,12; Nehemiah 10:25-30;Psalms 1:1; 26:4,5; Prov. 12:26;13:20; 14:7; 24:1; Amos 3:3. #2 1 Corinthians 5:9-11; 2 Thessalonians 3:6-14; Ephesians 5:7,11; NKJV 1 Timothy6:3-5; Romans 16:17; 3 John 10,11; 2 Timothy 3:1-5] 2. If you have no need of marital affectionate/sexual intimacy, a gift from God, you have the wonderful opportunity to serve God with fewer "distractions", to spend much more time with Him in the Word and prayer, and with others in ministry. David Hocking's book on singles beautifully explains 1 Corinthians 7:1,7,,20,25-35 and the great opportunity the single life presents to those who want more fully to seek and follow God with their whole heart. Singles groups for such people are fellowship opportunities, and provide the opportunity to bond with friends and minister to the Body of Christ. 3. If your calling and gift is to marry, how do you seek and find that partner? First of all you have to have your priorities right because marriage can become an idol just like anything else on earth can. You have to make very sure that Matthew 6:33,34; Proverbs 3:1-8; Psalms 37:1-6; and 2 Timothy 2 are daily very real or else even our prayers are in vain (1 John 3:22,23 and 1 John 5:14,15). Next we have to come to the place of Luke 22:42 and Romans 6:4,11, 12,13----the place of death to self and resurrection to Love which seeks not its own way/things---SO THAT WE ARE READY TO ACCEPT WHOEVER HE GIVES TO US, EVEN IF HIS CHOICE SEEMS TO FALL FAR SHORT OF OUR DREAMS AND FANTASIES. With our "seed" dead in the ground, He can raise us to a new life of marriage in His will. You literally have to die to your wants and tastes in physical appearance, personality, color hair or eyes, height, talents, income, status etc. and be ready to accept whoever He gives to you and you will have doubt-free peace of heart and mind if you are ready and accepting the one He gives to you. Your only concern should be that your prospective mate meets God's requirements in the Bible for a godly, Spirit-led and Spirit-filled man/woman. Jesus said seek and you shall find. Seeking one's mate can be as active a process as Ruth's and Queen Esther's or it can be as privately surprising as Adam's awakening to Eve for the first time. You can count on God to lead you according to His word (Proverbs 3:5,6; Romans 8:14). You can trust Him to put His ideas/desires in your heart/mind and the opportunities to act on them (Philippians 2:13; Hebrews 13:20,21). Like Adam, you can wake up to her in your life in His time. Like Issac, a parent figure can help you find God's choice for you. You can just be going about your daily activities like Rebekah and, in a moment of compassionate assistance to a stranger, you can find your mate. Like Ruth, you can commit yourself to God's service, make a Godly decision to step out of one situation and into another and in that new situation be led and advised to do what seems like an ordinary work day decision but which results in your meeting your mate quite unexpectedly. Following wise and Godly counsel of Godly counselors like Ruth, you might be led to offer yourself as wife to a Godly man who obviously cares for and admires you but for some reason feels unworthy to ask you to be his wife. Like David meeting Abigail, you could just be going about your daily walk in the Lord, meet a godly woman you admire and respect but who seems unavailable just to quite unexpectedly find that she is both available and ready to marry you. Like Abigail, you could find yourself in a trying and difficult situation with no relief in sight, but by living wisely and Godly in that situation impress and build a relationship with the one you will eventually marry. With todayÕs laws about sexual harassment, any wise male will think long and hard before he compliments a female on her female beauty or appearance, long and hard before he will let her know he likes her and is interested in getting to know her personally, long and hard before he will ask or suggest that they go out on a date. Because of the sexual harassment laws the only way a woman might know a man is interested in her is by what his eyes show, and it is now virtually up to the woman to tell the man that if he is interested, she would like to get to know him better and get together to talk. This is very hard for a woman because of the chance of misreading his eyes and being rejected and embarrassed. ThatÕs why men and women more than ever need Christian singlesÕ and couplesÕ agencies and fellowship groups, as the Lord leads. THE KEY IS IN GENESIS 24:27. Being in His way, doing His things, saying His Words He leads you to the where and the who of your future. It may even seem like blind faith but it has to be absolute trust in His working all things together according to the counsel of His own will (Ephes. 1:11; Phil. 4:6,7) free of worry, anxiety and fretting, with a soul at rest and in peace knowing that your Shepherd-King will take care of the need for you in His time with the person of His choice, not necessarily of your choice. YOU MUST TRUST HIM TO USE HIS WORD AND THE TRUTH OF ROMANS 14:22,23 WITH PHILIPPIANS 4:6,7 to guide you. He can bring scriptures to mind to guide and direct you. The final test is the Spirit's gift of doubt-free peace of heart and mind. Move and rest in that peace. Consider every doubt and uneasiness of spirit to be God's Romans 14 and Phil. 4 signal to you that you shouldn't do the thing in question because either it is the wrong thing and you don't realize it yet, or it is the right thing but you shouldn't do it yet. So you don't say it or do it until your consciousness is filled with His doubt-free peace and rest of spirit about it/him/her and the Word of God in Scripture. APPENDIX FOUR: What makes a wedding &/or a marriage? From many passages in the Bible (including Ezekiel 16:8, Exodus chapters 19 & 20, and Malachi 2:14,15) it appears clear to me that marriage of a couple is based on their covenant/solemn agreement to be husband and wife to each other in a relationship of marital/ sexual intimacy, - - whether or not they do it legally or officially. Adam and Eve had no formal or official wedding and exchanged no formal vows but they accepted each other as husband and wife and lived accordingly. There is no wedding formula in the Bible and there is no wedding ceremony prescribed in the Bible. When you study how they married in the Old Testament you see that the basis was either their covenant to be husband and wife to each other, or they accepted their parentsÕ covenant for them to be married. The strongest statement I know of is the one in Matthew 1:18,19,20 where, based on their covenant/betrothal (v.18), the Holy Spirit callED Joseph her husband (v.19) and the angel called Mary his wife (v.20) before (Luke 1:26,34) their official wedding and cohabitation (v.24). God and His messengers call Mary and Joseph wife and husband before their wedding and solely on the basis of their covenants to be husband and wife to each other. This agrees with the great weight God gives our solemn word in such passages as DBY PSALM 15: Jehovah, who shall sojourn in thy tent? . . . 2 He that walketh uprightly, . . .who, if he have sworn to his own hurt, changeth it not; . . . YLT ECCLES 5:4 ¦ When thou vowest a vow to God, delay not to complete it, for there is no pleasure in fools; that which thou vowest-- complete. 5 Better that thou do not vow, than that thou dost vow and dost not complete. 6 Suffer not thy mouth to cause thy flesh to sin, nor say before the messenger, that `it [is] an error,' why is God wroth because of thy voice, and hath destroyed the work of thy hands? All of this is to say that if you and your mate have agreed seriously to be faithful to each other in and for marital/sexual intimacy as husband and wife, then I believe that makes you husband and wife. Even if you havenÕt used the magic words Òhusband, wife, marriageÓ, if you two have agreed to be faithful marital/sexual partners to each other, to me thatÕs the same thing as Ezekiel 16:14 where God shows that marriage is by covenant. In Malachi 2 God shows again that a woman becomes a wife by covenant, and to break that covenant is to deal treacherously with you mate. Sexual intimacy>m with anyone else besides your mate is fornication, sexual sin. If you are maritally committed to each other and then you yourself --- but not your mate--- -- genuinely received Jesus Christ as your Lord and Ruler to be obeyed and as Savior to deliver you from the penalty of your sins- - but your guy hasn't, then I believe you find yourself in the situation described in 1 Corinthians 7:12,13,14,15, the saved mate of an unsaved person. [>.m see footnotes on breast pressing, petting,caressing and/or genital contact (Ezekiel 23:3,8,21; Prov. 5.)] CIVIL LAW, PERSONAL LIBERTY AND A LOVING CONSCIENCE! Surely Romans 13 and related passages apply. And certainly the principles of Romans 14 and l Cor 8 & 10 apply. The following is a brief summary of those principles: 1. Receive the weak in faith (their faith allows them very little personal liberty) but not to dispute doubtful things/points>61 . Doubtful things are things that the Bible is not explicitly clear about leaving a gray area for individuals to exercise their own judgment (e.g. eating meat vs. vegetarianism, length of dress, courtship and engagement, television, movies, computer use etc.) 2. Don't despise or condemn your brother/sister in Christ if (1) they feel free to do doubtful things or (2) they don't feel free to do doubtful things>62 3. Don't put a stumbling block, an occasion to take offense, put an obstacle in the way>82 , give someone an opportunity for sinning>63 4. Don't make your brethren uneasy>83 or hurt, injure or damage others' feelings>84. 5. Don't destroy your brethren's faith with your personal liberty>64 6. Let not the personal liberty your faith allows be evil spoken of>65 7. Do that which builds and helps the faith of your brethren>66 . 8. Don't put a temptation to sin in someone's way>.85 , or do that which leads another to sin>.86 . 9. Have your faith from the Word that allows you your personal liberty privately, discretely and personally before God and be happy in it>67 10. Don't do anything you have doubts about, doubts about whether or not it is God's will for you to do, be or have)>68 11. If your faith is strong allowing you a great deal of personal liberty, you should bear the weaknesses of those whose faith allows little personal liberty, not pleasing ourselves. Seek to please your brethren for their good, growth and development in the Lord and Word>69 . [Footnote: [>61 (Rm.14:1) >62 . (Rm. 14:3,4) >.82 Please see Arndt & Gingrich's Lexicon. >83 Please see Thayer's Lexicon. >63 . (Rm. 14:13). >.84 Please see Arndt & Gingrich's Lexicon. >64 . (Rm 14:15). >65 (Rm. 14:16,17). >66 (Rm. 14:18,19). >.85 (Rm. 14:13)Please see Arndt & Gingrich's Lexicon. >.86 Please see Thayer's Lexicon. >67 (Rm.14:22). >68 . (Rm. 14:23). >69 . (Rm. 15:1-3)] But how do these principles apply? Obviously polygyny or concubinage is a felony to officially marry (by man's laws) more than one woman in terms of the government's law, public records, inheritance laws and divorce laws in most Western or industrial nations. Obviously it is socially acceptable, legal and not a felony in most Asian nations, the Mid East, Africa and Indian tribes in the Americas. That is as clear as black and white. But there is a great big gray area. Many Western states recognize informal marriage (concubinage) as common law marriages but as soon as they become official they come under the monogamy laws. But they can live for years in the morally acceptable informal and unofficial common law status without any illegality. Under Administrative Law in California, County Welfare officials set up semi-official marriages with people who live together without being married where one or both parties could still be legally married to others. Administrative Welfare law recognizes them as a semi- married couple and will grant them AFDC aid and even help them get divorces so they can eventually marry IF THEY WISH. With the state's approval they live together as a family sometimes for years, but they have no IRS rights, or inheritance rights or marital tax status from the state as a married couple. It is legal and approved of by state law. California's courts have also established palimony rights where they protect the covenant/contractual rights of people living in unofficial marriage or concubinage. While they have no official tax status or inheritance rights the courts have established that a marital relationship and the members of that relationship have protection under the law in terms of their covenants, contracts, vows, espousal or betrothal. The courts have awarded "palimony", property and child custody rights in and from these relationships. The new no- discrimination-against-one's-sexual-orientation laws protect those who practice informal contractual polygyny or concubinage. Since God prescribes no "wedding ceremony", ritual, vows or rite>87 to make two people married, leaving it to the local churches to have their own redeemed local and indigenous marital customs>88 . The vows, covenants, betrothals and prenuptial contracts seem to be covered by God's standards in the following: [Footnote: >87 See appendix #4 . >.88 See appendix #4 .] MKJV EZEKIEL 16: 3 ÒAnd say, So says the Lord Jehovah to Jerusalem, . . . 8 And I passed by you and looked on you, and, behold, your time [was] the time of love. And I spread my skirt over you and covered your nakedness. And I swore to you and entered into a covenant with you, says the Lord Jehovah. And you became Mine.Ó MKJV MALACHI 2:14 ÒYet you say, Why? Because the LORD has been witness between you and the wife of your youth, against whom you have dealt treacherously; yet she [is] your companion and your covenant wife. 15 And did He not make [you] one? Yet the vestige of the Spirit [is in] him. And what [of] the one? He was seeking a godly seed. Then guard your spirit, and do not act treacherously with the wife of your youth. 16 The LORD, the God of Israel, says He hates sending away; and to cover [with] violence on his garment, says the LORD of hosts. Then guard your spirit, and do not act treacherously.Ó Here "act treacherously" means " break covenant" or "fail to honor your covenant/commitment". MKJV ECCLES. 5:4 ¦Ó When you vow a vow to God, do not wait to pay it. For He has no pleasure in fools. Pay that which you have vowed. 5 [it is] better that you should not vow, than that you should vow and not pay. 6 Do not allow your mouth to cause your flesh to sin; do not say before the angel that it [was] an error. Why should God be angry at your voice and destroy the work of your hands? Ò MKJV PSALM 15:1 ¦ ÒA Psalm of David. LORD, who shall dwell in Your tabernacle? . . . 2 He who walks uprightly, and works righteousness, and speaks the truth in his heart; . . . [he] has sworn to his hurt, and does not change it; 5. . . He who does these [things] shall not be moved forever.Ó MKJV ROMANS 1:28 ÒAnd even as they did not think fit to have God in [their] knowledge, God gave them over to a reprobate mind, to do the things not right, 29 being filled with all unrighteousness . . . 31 . . . covenant-breakers. . . 32 who, knowing the righteous order of God, that those practicing such things are worthy of death, not only do them, but have pleasure in those practicing [them].Ó It is the treachery of breaking marital covenants that God condemns in these passages and that which he hates. "Yes, I swore an oath to you and entered into covenant with you, and you became Mine," says the Lord God>70 . We become a part of the bride of Christ in the same way. The Spirit considered Mary and Joseph as husband and wife on the basis of their espousal/betrothal/ covenants even before the wedding and the coming together>71. [Footnote: >70 (Ezek. 16:8). >71 (Mat. 1:18-25 ;Deut. 22:23-27)] So why can't two Christians exchange espousal/betrothal covenants and become each other's marital partners without a formal marriage which would be illegal? Of course they can since common law marriages are legally acceptable in most of AmericaÕs states and in most of the countries of the world. But should they? We are bound by our covenants and God makes it clear He has no pleasure in the fools who break them >72 . We enter into the gray zone of the liberty we have in Christ>73 that is limited by the cords of Agape love. Yes two Christians could exchange their vows/ covenants without a formal/legal wedding day but if they became involved in intimacy and that intimacy became an offense or stumbling block to another saint it would be sin and could destroy the work of Christ in another or embolden a weak one to be intimate contrary to his/her conscience>74 . So is such intimacy a sin between two Christians who have solemnly and formally covenanted before God that they are maritally one flesh as long as they both live? It is neither illegal nor sinful but it becomes sin if it stumbles, offends, grieves another in Christ> 75 . [Footnote: >72 (Eccles. 5:5; Psalm 15). >73 (Rom 14). >74 (l Cor. 8 & 10). >75 (Rom. 14; 1 Cor. 8 & 10).] But what about the command in Romans 14 that states that if you have a solid controversial conviction from the Word, have it to yourself before God? Happy is the one who does not condemn himself in what he approves>76 . But woe to him if he does it with doubts or offense to another in Christ. So it seems to be with post covenant but pre- wedding day intimacy. It seems to be the same case with polygyny / concubinage. Do you practice/believe in polygyny /concubinage? Have it and do so privately and very discreetly before God. Happy is the one who does not condemn one's self in what he approves in the liberty of Christ. But she who practices/believes in polygyny /concubinage with doubts is condemned if she indulges because she does not practice it out of conviction from the Spirit and the Word. polygyny/concubinage is indeed pure, but it is evil to practice it if it stumble, offends, grieves or weakens your brethren in Christ>77 . [Footnote: >76 (Rom 14:22,23). >77 (Rom. 14; 1 Cor. 8 & 10)] Foreign Christian polygynists visiting Western monogamous societies encounter a special challenge. Spiritual and Godly Christians would be able to handle it well and in the Lord, but the unsaved, the carnal, the Spiritual milk drinkers, the legalists, the ignorant, and those weak of conscience would all have varying problems with a Christian polygynist and his wives visiting their Western/Occidental church>78 . The visiting Christian polygynist should do all within his power to not let his liberty hinder the effectiveness of his testimony and witness to these people, if they would be willing to receive it. [Footnote: >78 (1 Cor. 8 & 10; Rom. 14 & 15)] Hopefully mercy and compassion would move the Christian polygynist to not flaunt his polygyny in the face of such "Christians" even though they are so unlike Christ. Mercy would move the polygynist to not lay a heavier burden on the weak than they can bear, not wanting their liberty to cause their weak brethren to fall into sin. Compassion would move the polygynists to be sensitive to the weakness and doubts of the weak saints. Obviously the polygynist would not be an official leader in the church and would not be visiting local churches as a leader/elder/deacon/ bishop/ overseer/etc.>79 . Ideally the local saints would be bearing the fruits of the Spirit and receive such foreign visitors with mercy and compassion. If they agreed and were able>80 for a short while to be separated, the polygynist could visit the Western church bringing one or none of his wives so as to reduce the controversy. The same would be true of a polygynist wife visiting the West without her husband, under the rule of 1 Cor. 7:4,5. [Footnote: >79 (1 Tim. 3 and Ti. 1). >80 (1 Cor. 7:5)] MKJV 1 CORINTH. 7: 4 ÒThe wife does not have authority over [her] own body, but the husband. And likewise also the husband does not have power [over his] own body, but the wife. 5 Do not deprive one another, unless [it is] with consent for a time, so that you may [give yourselves to] fasting and prayer. And come together again so that Satan does not tempt you for your incontinence.Ó XXIII. BIBLIOGRAPHY >1. A Select Library of the Nicene and Post-Nicene Fathers of The Christian Church, Vol. IV; edited by Philip Schaff (D.d., LL.D.); W.B. Eerdmans Publishing Co., Grand Rapids Mich; 1956 >2. A Select Library of the Nicene and Post-Nicene Fathers of The Christian Church, Vol. V; edited by Philip Schaff (D.d., LL.D.); ; W.B. Eerdmans Publishing Co., Grand Rapids Mich; 1956; p. 267 >3. A Select Library of the Nicene and Post-Nicene Fathers of The Christian Church, Vol. VIII; edited by Philip Schaff (D.d., LL.D.) and Henry Wace (D.D.) ; W.B. Eerdmans Publishing Co., Grand Rapids Mich; 1956 >4. A Select Library of the Nicene and Post-Nicene Fathers of The Christian Church, Vol. XIV; edited by Philip Schaff (D.D., LL.D.) and Henry Wace (D.D.) ; W.B. Eerdmans Publishing Co., Grand Rapids Mich; 1956 >5. Amplified Bible, The; 1965, Zondervan Publishing House >6. ANALYTICAL GREEK LEXICON, THE: Harper & Brothers, New York >7. Arndt & Gingrich: A GREEK-ENGLISH LEXICON OF THE NEW TESTAMENT and Other Early Christian Literature ; By W.F.Arndt & F. W. Gingrich; The Univ. of Chicago Press, Chicago, Ill.; Cambridge at the Univ. Press.; 1957 >8. ASV: The Holy Bible, American Standard Version 1901 & 1929; Thomas Nelson & Sons, New York >9. Gold Cord, by Amy Carmichael, Christian Literature Crusade, Fort Worthington, Penna.; London's Society for the Promotion of Christian Knowledge, Holy Trinity Church, Marylebone Rd., N.W. (N.Y. The Macmillan Company). >10. CUSTOMS AND CULTURES, Anthropology for Christian Missions, by Eugene A. Nida1954, Harper & Brothers, New York >11. Darby's 1890 translation: Most of the scriptures quoted in this work, if not otherwise indicated, are from the a modernized version of J. N. Darby's translation, the OnLine Bible computer program of "Online Bible f ", Ken Hammil 1-908-741-4298; [E-Mail: khamel@aol.com]. >12. DIVORCE, John Murray, Presbyterian and Reformed Publishing Co. \ >13. G. Duty's book on divorce and remarriage , Downers Grove, Ill. >14. HASTING'S DICTIONARY OF THE BIBLE; 1989, Hendrickson Publishers, Inc., Peabody, Mass;, Editor James Hastings, DD., >15. I LOVED A GIRL; Walter Trobisch, Inter-Varsity Press, Downers Grove, Ill. >16. INTERNATIONAL BIBLE COMMENTARY, THE; Editor, F.F.Bruce; 1979; Zondervan Publishing House, Grand Rapids Michigan. >17. Jay Adam'sÕ book on divorce and remarriage >18. JEWISH: The Holy Scriptures according to the Masoretic Text, 1955, The Jewish Publication Society. >19. KINSHIP & MARRIAGE, Robin Fox, 1967, Penguin Books, Inc., USA & England >20. LAMSA: The Holy Bible from Ancient Eastern Manuscripts, 1940, Holman Co., by G. Lamsa. >21. MARRIAGE EAST AND WEST; David & Vera Mace, 1960, Dolphin Books, Double Day & Co., Inc. Garden City, NY >22.MARRYING AGAIN; David Hocking, 1977, Fleming H. Revell Co. >23. MKJV: MODERN KING JAMES VERSION, 1993, by Jay P. Green Sr., in Online Bible 2.5.1; the OnLine Bible computer program of "Online Bible f ", Ken Hammil 1- 908-741-4298; [E-Mail: khamel@aol.com]. >24. MY WIFE MADE ME A POLYGAMIST; Walter Trobisch, 1971, Inter-Varsity Press, >25. NASB: Holy Bible New American Standard; Broadman & Holman Publishers, Nashville Tenn.; The Lockman Foundation, 1977 >26. NEB: NEW ENGLISH BIBLE, 1970; Oxford/Cambridge University Press >27. NEW BIBLE DICTIONARY, THE; Editor J.D.Douglas Ph.D; 1962; W. B. Eerdmans Publishing Co., Grand Rapids, Mich. >28. NEW TESTAMENT GREEK FOR BEGINNERS, By, J. Gresham Machen, D.D, Litt. D.,1959 >29. NIV: "Scripture taken from the HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION. Copyright @ 1973, 1978, 1984 International Bible Society." Used as required by Zondervan Bible Publishers. >30. NKJV: New King James Version, 1984, Thomas Nelson, Inc. >31. OnLine Bible computer program of "Online Bible f ", Ken Hammil 1-908-741-4298; [E-Mail: khamel@aol.com]. >32. PLEASE HELP ME! PLEASE LOVE ME!; Walter Trobisch, Inter- Varsity Press, >33. St. Augustin: On The Trinity; translated by Arthur West Haddan, B.D.; W.B. Eerdmans Publishing Co., Grand Rapids Mich; 1956 >34. StrongÕs Lexicon, Open Bible "Online Bible f", Ken Hammil 1-908- 741- 4298. Also Baker Book House, Grand Rapids, Mich. >35. Thayer: Greek English Lexicon of the New Testament; Joseph Henry Thayer, D.D.; American Book Co., New York, 1889 >36. The Septuagint of the Old Testament and Apocrypha With an English Translation; Zondervan Publishing House, Grand Rapids, Michigan; 1972; Samuel Bagster & Sons, Ltd. London >37. WOMEN'S LIVES IN MEDIEVAL EUROPE - A SOURCEBOOK; Edited by Emile Amt; Routledge, Chapman, Hall; NY, NY; 1993 >38. Wuest's THE NEW TESTAMENT, An Expanded Translation, Kenneth S. Wuest, 1961 >39. YLT; Young's Literal Translation, 1898: OnLine Bible computer program of "Online Bible f ", Ken Hammil 1-908-741-4298; [E-Mail: khamel@aol.com]. TOPICS: FOREVER MARRIAGES CROSS CULTURALLY, FORMAL AND INFORMAL CHRISTIAN MARRIAGE, COMMON LAW MARRIAGE, CHRISTIAN DIVORCE, CHRISTIAN REMARRIAGE, CHRISTIAN CONCUBINES, CHRISTIAN POLYGYNY (POLYGAMY), RACISM, ETHNOCENTRICITY, AND THE SWEARING OF OATHS TITLE: DIVORCE, REMARRIAGE, CONCUBINES, & JESUS; Another Look for Christians. COPYRIGHT © JANUARY 14, 1995 All rights reserved. Copyright © 01/14/'95; 01/12/Õ96 (Revised) This file, in its entirety, may be posted on or copied off of computer networks like Internet or WWW by anyone so inclined. This is an ASCII text only copy of a Macintosh MicrosoftWord5 file made for non-Macintosh folks, so it is very plain and basic in its form (footnotes, indentation and page layout). The document is 6" wide and Palatino 12 plain font in the original. So when your text only version comes up with Palatino 14, just select all and change it to Palatino 12 or 10. There are no bold or underline options. The distinctions between footnotes of sources and footnotes of reference are lost. So please be patient with the footnote numbering. The footnotes are put at the end of the paragraphs instead of in the text itself, making it more readable. You may find extra >Õs and some >Õs where rÕs should be. DidnÕt get to proof that far yet. Please be patient. By L. Tyler P.O. Box 620763, SanDiego, CA 92162-0763 ruth1lee2@aol.com polyboy@delphi.net polyboy@delphi.com TABLE OF CONTENTS (These page numbers are correct with Palatino 14 ,left and right margins of 1.25"each, and top and bottom margins at 1" each.) I. INTRODUCTION: PRIORITIES RECONSIDERED. P. 4 II. DIVORCE! A PLAGUE AND ITS CONSEQUENCES. P. 8 III. DIVORCE DEFINED. P. 23 IV. VARIETIES OF MARRIAGE IN THE BIBLE, OLD AND NEW TESTAMENTS -- LET THE WORD SPEAK ABOUT POLYGYNY AND CONCUBINES! P. 25 V. WHAT DO CHRISTIAN LEADERS SAY ABOUT CONCUBINES & POLYGYNY? P. 50 VI. ADULTERY DEFINED: A SURPRISE! ISNÕT POLYGYNY ADULTERY? P. 66 VII. SO, WHAT ABOUT CONCUBINES & POLYGYNY TODAY IN MY COUNTRY? P. 73 VIII. ARE POLYGYNISTS AND CONCUBINES LIVING IN ERROR TODAY? P. 82 IX. MARRIAGE, CONCUBINES, CIVIL LAW, PERSONAL LIBERTY AND A LOVING CONSCIENCE! P. 87 X. DOES GOD FORGIVE BROKEN VOWS, DIVORCE AND ADULTERY? P. 91 XI. CAN YOU COME BACK TOGETHER & REMMARY AFTER ADULTEROUS REMARRIAGE? P. 99 XII. WHAT ABOUT THE HEALTH QUESTIONS INVOLVED IN SUCH REUNIONS? P. 108 XIII. CAN ADULTERY, DIVORCE, VOWS AND REPENTANCE RESULT IN POLYGYNY/CONCUBINAGE? P. 112 XIV. ADULTERY, DIVORCE, CONCUBINES, POLYGYNY AND THE UNSAVED. P. 119 XV. THE MARRIED MAN WHO WOULD ADD WIVES/CONCUBINES TO HIS "HAREM". P. 121 XVI. ARE POLYGYNY & CONCUBINES OPTIONS FOR THE ABANDONED MAN? P. 126 XVII. POLYGYNISTS, CONCUBINES AND THE LEADERS OF GOD'S PEOPLE. P. 129 XVIII. POLYGYNY & CONCUBINES AND THE WESTERN CHRISTIAN WOMAN. P. 130 XIX. WHAT'S WRONG WITH POLYANDRY? P. 134 XX. HUSBAND RULE OVER THE WIFE? IF SERVANT-TEACHERS RULE .P. 137 XXI. THREE CHEERS FOR MONOGAMY! THE BEST FOR MOST! P. 141 XXII. LISTEN TO THE WORD! P. 145 XXIII. BIBLIOGRAPHY P. 147 APPENDIX ONE -- WHAT ABOUT INTERRACIAL AND INTERETHNIC MARRIAGE? P.150 APPENDIX TWO -- WHAT DO YOU THINK? THE FEEDING OF TWO LEGGED OXEN. P.157 APPENDIX THREE -- A WEDDING COVENANT FOR NONSWEARERS - P. 159 APPENDIX FOUR -- WHAT MAKES A WEDDING/MARRIAGE? - P. 161 APPENDIX FIVE -- MARRYING THE UNSAVED AND "SAINTS" LIVING IN ERROR. - P.163 APPENDIX SIX -- WHEN DO I HAVE TO MARRY? - P. 167 APPENDIX SEVEN -- THE ERRR OF SWEARING, OF OATHS AND SWEARING OATHS. -P.182 RELATED THOUGHTS AND ISSUES FROM THE PARENT FILE Since the harlot is one flesh with every fornicator she has sexual union with and the husband is one flesh with his wife, the Òone fleshÓ principle is not unique to marriage and cannot be an argument for monogamy or against polygyny . The Òone fleshÓ principle is physical reality that describes only the result of sexual union, whether it involve a harlot, a fornicator, a married couple or a polygamous marriage. David, Israel and Abraham were Òone fleshÓ with each of their wives, just as the adulteress of Prov. 6 & 7 was one flesh with each of her adulterers. Under the Law by Moses, being Òone fleshÓ could have been the basis for marriage>11 but not so for us after the Sinai Law of Moses was declared voided in Eph. 2 and Col. 2, especially in the case of 1 Cor. 7:9; 1 Tm. 5:11-14. If we do not control ourselves today, we are commanded to marry>12 , but who to marry is not specified, only that your mate be saved>13 and godly>14. [Footnotes: >11 (Deut. 22:22-30; Ex. 22:16,17). >12 1 Cor. 7:9,36; 1 Tim 5:14; Appendix Six of this document. >13. 2 Corinthians 6. .>14 1 Corinthians 5:9-11; 2 Thess. 3:6-14] The woman's repentance option explains the Òdouble standardÓ and apparent inequity of 1 Corinthians 7:10,11 where it appears that the woman who has left her husband has the repentance option of remaining single but the man must never leave his wife. If a wife left her husband according to 1 Cor. 7:11, he would immediately be put in the hazardous position of 1 Corinth 7:1-5, being tempted to sin because his wife will not give him the marital sexual outlet since she is gone. It seemed to me to be quite unfair that she could leave him and live unmarried, and he, knowing he is still bound to her for life, has to struggle with the burning temptations predicted in 1 Corinth. 7:1-5, 9 with no legitimate sexual outlet. Then I realized that 1 Corinth. 7:1-5 predicted his need of marital intimacy, how Satan would use the wife's absence to tempt him, how marital intimacy is the prescription to avoid Satan's temptations, and then the command in verse 9 plainly commands the one to marry who is failing to have successful self-control>100 . Then I realized that the polygyny option balanced the equation. The wife could leave her husband and remain single and the husband who was still bound to such a departed wife seems to have had a Biblical option of polygyny / concubinage, (depending on the laws of his land) if he found himself tempted and burning as in 1 Cor. 7:5, 9,12. She could leave and he could remarry becoming a polygamist and the inequity was gone. She could separate and remain single, and he could remarry as long as he recognized that he was still bound to his separated wife. [Footnote: >100 See Appendix Six.] So the divorce is only a legal recognition of the wife's departure and unwillingness to be reconciled, while he still publicly recognizes the binding nature of their relationship. Then he remarries another Christian because his burning and his 1 Cor. 7:5 predicted failures to control himself bring him under the command to marry in l Cor. 7:9,36 (NIV & Amplified "they should marry"), 1 Cor. 7:36 (NIV "They should get married); 1 Tim 5:14 (NIV "So I counsel younger widows to marry.." Amplified "So I would have younger [widows] marry..") and 1 Thess 4:3-8 (NIV "that each of you should learn to control his own body in a way that is holy and honorable . . ..") >101 [Footnote>101 Please see Appendix Six; NIV , NEW INTERNA- TIONAL VERSION. ] Seeing her brother-husband in need, she shuts up her feelings of compassion>88 . But in the meantime she has killed his affections for her by her words and deeds and his affection goes unanchored now. She refuses to welcome his affectionate and intimate touch in disobedience to the Word>89 . As predicted, Theo is being sexually tempted by Satan and Theo finds himself burning and sometimes failing >90 to control himself when exposed to things like pornography. Tempted, burning and sometimes failing to control himself, Theo finds himself under the command to marry (be having his own wife)>n89. Safronia refuses to help him meet his needs, and he can't divorce her because she claims to be saved >91 . Since she cares not for affection with him, he might exercise his liberty to have a concubine in the manner of Romans 14. If his faith allows him to have a concubine but having a concubine would grieve, offend and/or stumble someone, perhaps even his Arctic wife, then wouldn't he have to exercise his faith's personal liberty by having his concubine privately and discretely between himself, her and God so as not to let his liberty offend the Body of Christ. [Footnote: >88 (1 John 3:14-18). >89 (1 Cor. 7:2,3,4,5). >90 (1 Cor. 7:9, see Appendix 6). >.n89 See Appendix Six. >91 (1 Cor.7:10,11,39; Mark 10:1-12).] He could be moved by her plight and pray for an unencumbered husband for her. But if God doesnÕt provide another and the sister is burning, having great trouble with and almost succumbing to temptations, his continued prayer alone would be empty piety like in the following: MKJV JAMES 2: 14 ¦ ÒMy brothers, what profit [is it] if a man says he has faith and does not have works? Can faith save him?15 If a brother or sister is naked and destitute of daily food, 16 and if one of you says to them, Go in peace, be warmed and filled, but you do not give them those things which are needful to the body, what good [is it]? 17 Even so, if it does not have works, faith is dead, being by itself.Ó He would seem to be compelled to intervene, offering himself in marriage to her as he desires anyway, to enable her to obey GodÕs solution for her problem>101 . This could even be the case if his chastely separated and divorced "Christian"Ó wife was carnal and too selfish/rebellious to be moved by her plight and 1 John 3:17 to approve of her divorced Christian manÕs plan to marry her. You donÕt let the saint who seeks GodÕs solution be destroyed because of a carnal saint who resists or refuses compassion and GodÕs solutions. [Footnote: >101 (1 Cor. 7:1,2,3,9; see Appendix Six).] Why would a Western/Occidental woman ever consider polygyny /concubinage? It is clearly a sin to marry an unsaved person> 104 . She knows she must not marry an unsaved man>105 or a snared-in-sin "saint">106. If a Christian woman in a Western church finds the usual shortage of godly brothers, yet earnestly desires marriage or is commanded to marry>91 she may consider marrying a Christian brother (1) whose ÒChristianÓ wife has divorced him exercising her option>107 to be separate and chaste, or (2) who sinfully divorced his ÒChristianÓ wife who now will not forgive him or be reconciled to him, exercising her option to be separate and chaste. [Footnote: >104 (2 Cor. 6 & 7 etc.). >105 (2 Cor. 6:14-7:2). >106 See Appendix five. >91 See Appendix Six. >107 1 Cor 7:10.] If this Western Christian sister is burning with passion and not successfully controlling her passions and/or imagination consistently, she must marry>92. If she finds herself in repeated defeat morally and spiritually and the only Christian brother who is available or interested is the one who is legally divorced from a Christian wife who wants chaste separation without reconciliation, the choice to marry in Biblical polygyny would be more acceptable than continued burning and moral defeats. It is clearly a sin to marry an unsaved>#5 or backslidden Christian>108 . It is not a sin to exercise personal liberty in Christ in covenanted polygyny .Yes, the polygyny of being married to a divorced Christian man who is bound for life to his former wife who left/ divorced him and refuses to be reconciled to him, exercising her option of chaste separation. [Footnote: >92See Appendix Six. >#5 See Appendix #5. >108 (l Cor. 5:11; 2 Thess 3:6,14).] I am not trying to meddle or cause trouble. I just want to know if there are any mistakes in the ideas above in terms of scripture alone, not in terms of man's condemned traditions (Mark 7).I really want to know what the Bible says about the subjects discussed above. I want to live by every Word of God, not by the commandments and traditions of man (Mat. 15, Mark 7 and Colos 2). PLEASE ADVISE ME OF ANY AND ALL ERRORS (TYPOS, DOCTRINAL, ETC.) THAT YOU FIND. PLEASE GIVE ME CLEAR AND EXPLICIT SCRIPTURES DEALING WITH THE ERROR WHEN YOU WRITE. I WANT THE WORD, NOT OPINIONS AND PARADIGMS. The aim of my Web page is to submit for your consideration, controversial and thought provoking files by a social activist and reformer on current subjects and issues from an Anthropological and Judeo-Christian perspective. If you are happy with our world's status quo then please read no further. These cross cultural files by a cultural anthropologist are an attempt to deal with real and contemporary life-issues within a Judeo-Christian context, no matter what the reader's marital status, culture, status, race or nationality might be. The only "culture" advocated and endorsed is the Judeo-Christian culture, no love here for the status quo. The ultimate authority accepted here is the God-breathed Word of God as found in the Old and New Testaments of the Holy Bible. These are the subjects/titles available: ¥ Abortion, Malicious Bias, & Genocide (abortion.txt) ¥ Angels, Demons & Spirits (AngelsDemonsSpirits.txt; YouAndAngels) ¥ Biblical Insights on Sex, Morality &Pornography (BiblcaLSexPornMorality) ¥ Black Families' Crisis (PlightOfBlkFem-Fam.txt; BlackFamResrcs+.txt; Black.Family.Resrcs) ¥ Camelot, a Tale of Tragic Love ( A_Camelot_Dedication.txt) ¥ Cherishing Your Women (CherishYourWomen1.txt) ¥ Christian Divorce (Divorce_Remarriage.txt; Divorce_&_Polygamy.html; Christian_Divorce.txt; Christian_Divorce) ¥ Christians and the Tithe ( ChristianTithe.txt ) ¥ Common Law &Informal Marriages (ComnlawInfrmlMarriage.txt) ¥ Crisis Resolution in the Unity of the Spirit (CrisisResolution.txt) ¥ Disciples and Their Suffering (Why_Disciples_Suffer.txt; WhyBelieversSuffer.html) ¥ Divorce & Remarriage (Divorce_Remarriage.txt; Divorce_&_Polygamy.html; Christian_Divorce.txt; Christian_Divorce) ¥ Easter Insights (Easter_Insights.txt; Easter_Insights) ¥ How and When to Marry (WhenHowMarry.txt) ¥ How to Survive Divorce (HowSurvive_Divorce.txt) ¥ Husband Wife Relations (HusbandWifeRelatnsMngny.txt; Husband.Wife.Relatns) ¥ Husbands Rule Wives? (HusbandRuleWife.txt) ¥ Interracial/Interethnic Marriage (InterracialEthncMarrg.txt; RacelessMarriage) ¥ Is Jesus Jehovah God? (IsJesusJehovahGod.txt) ¥ Keeping One's Word (KeepingOne'sWord.txt ) ¥ Keys to Loving Unity in Families and Fellowships (KeysMLovingUnity.txt; Keys4LovingUnity.txt) ¥ The "Let" command of 1 Corinthians 7:9 (Let_Command.txt ) ¥ Man's Need Of Woman (Man'sNeedOfWoman.txt; MenNeedWomen) ¥ The Marriage of the Godly Lasts Until Death Separates (Divorce_&_Polygamy.html) ¥ Marital Intimacy Manual for Contributors (MrtlIntmcyMn4Cntrs.txt) ¥ Matchmaker Resources (MatchmakerResrcsInt) ¥ Me In Christ, What Does It All Mean Really? (WhatIAmInChrist1.txt) ¥ Me In This World, Why? (Why_Me_&_This_World.txt; Why_Me_Now.txt; Why_Me_In_World.html) ¥ No Wedding Vows (NoWeddingVows.txt ) ¥ Oaths, Swearings, Promises (OathsSwrngsPrmss.txt; MarriageOaths) ¥ Plight Of the Black Family (PlightOfBlkFem-Fam.txt) ¥ Plight Of the Black Female (PlightOfBlkFem-Fam.txt) ¥ Power Of Female Beauty (PowrOfFemBeauty.txt) ¥ Prayers for Loved Ones (Prayers4LuvdOnes.txt) ¥ Prisoner Abuse (PrisonerAbuse.txt) ¥ Quotes On Polygyny (QuotesOnPolygyny.txt ) ¥ Racism, Nationalism and Bigotry (racsm.natnlsm.bigtry.txt) ¥ Safe sex, Fact or Myth? (safe_sex.txt) ¥ Seniors & Polygamy (senior_polygamy.txt) ¥ Sex and Dependent Singles ( Youths_Singles_Sex.txt; UnderageSexBurning.txt) ¥ Song Of Solomon Part1 (SongOfSolomonPt1.txt) ¥ Spiritual Warfare (Spiritual_Warfare.txt) ¥ The Suffering of the Innocent, (Why_Disciples_Suffer.txt; WhyBelieversSuffer.html) ¥ The Tithe & Christians (Tithe&Christians.txt) ¥ Truth vs Falsehoods (truth_vs_lies.txt) ¥ Underage Sexual Burning and 1 Corinth. 10:13 ( Youths_Singles_Sex.txt; UnderageSexBurning.txt) ¥ Unequal Yokes, Interfaith Marriages (UnequalYokes.txt) ¥ Unplanned Polygyny, a Trail of Tears (UnplannedPolygyny2.Txt) ¥ Wedding Covenants (WeddingCovenants.txt) ¥ Who is Tyler? (WhoLTyler.txt) ¥ Why Only One Husband? (WhyOnly1Husbnd.txt) ¥ Why Do "Good" People Suffer? (Why_Disciples_Suffer.txt; WhyBelieversSuffer.html) ¥ Why Would a Wife Share Her Husband? (WhyWifeShreHsbnd.txt) ¥ Polygamy Resources ( PolyResources2.txt) ¥ Polygamy, Divorce & Remarriage (Divorce_&_Polygamy.html; Divorce_and_PolygamyPt1.html; Divorce_and_PolygamyPt2.html; Divorce+PolygamyPt1.txt; Divorce+PolygamyPt2.txt) ¥ Polygamy and Christians Today (ChristianPolyToday.txt ) ¥ Polygamy and Concubines in the Bible (PolygamyConcubines.txt) ¥ Polygamy and the Law (Legal_Polygamy.txt) ¥ Polygamy and the Reformation (reformationpoly.txt) ¥ Polygamy in a Nutshell (minipoly.txt, Polygyny_core.txt; polyamory_unknown.html ) ¥ Polygamy, Traditional Criticisms (objections2poly.txt) ¥ Polygamy's Transition from Old Testament to New Testament times (Ot2NtDivRemPoly.txt) ¥ Polygamy, Morality and Pornography (PolyMoralityPorn76.txt; polyandry) ¥ Polygamy's/Polygyny's Scriptures and Contexts (PolyScripsQuotes.txt; PolygynyInScrips; Biblical_polygamy.html) ¥ Polygynous Families: Keys to Loving Unity in Polygyny ( KeysLovingUnity; Keys2LovingUnity.html) These files are available at: Tyler, at oldservant@mindspring.com or oldservant@planetall.com or 0953@geocities.com http://www.etext.info/Religious.Texts/Polyamory http://www.etext.info/Religious.texts/Polyamory ftp: www.etext.info; User: Anonymous; Password: Your email add http://www.mindspring.com/users/~oldservant http://www.mindspring.com/~oldservant/ ftp.mindspring.com; User: Anonymous; Password: your email address; Directory: /users/oldservant http://www.geocities.com/Athens/Troy/6916/ PLEASE DON'T BUY PRODUCTS MADE IN CHINA BECAUSE (1) THEY SYSTEMATICALLY TORTURE AND KILL BORN-AGAIN BELIEVERS IN CHRIST FOR THEIR FAITH, (2) THEY SYSTEMATICALLY EXECUTE PRISONERS FOR NON CAPTIAL CRIMES TO HARVEST THEIR BODY ORGANS FOR SALE ABROAD, (3) THEY FORCE MOTHERS/FAMILIES TO ABORT ALL OF THEIR UNBORN INFANTS EXCEPT FOR ONE PER FAMILY, AND FEMALE UNBORN INFANTS ARE THE MOST COMMON VICTIMS. PLEASE DON'T BUY PRODUCTS MADE IN SUDAN, ESPECIALLY BY NOT BUYING SOFT DRINKS AND JUICE DRINKS THAT CONTAIN ESTER GUM ROSIN OR ESTER OF WOOD ROSIN, BECAUSE THEY ARE SYSTEMATICALLY TORTURING, RAPING, ENSLAVING AND KILLING SUDANESE BELIEVERS IN CHRIST SOLELY BECAUSE OF THEIR FAITH. Want to help? go to www.fitw.com. PLEASE DON'T BUY DISNEY AND DISNEYLAND PRODUCTS AND FACILITIES BECAUSE OF THE ANTICHRISTIAN AND ANTIGOD PRODUCTS, SHOWS AND MOVIES THEY ARE PUTTING OUT NOW.