PRISONER ABUSE AND UNGODLY SILENCE. COPYRIGHT İ JANUARY 14, 1996 All rights reserved. This file, in its entirety, may be posted on or copied off of computer networks like Internet or WWW by anyone so inclined. This is an ASCII text only copy of a Macintosh MicrosoftWord5 file made for non-Macintosh folks, so it is very plain and basic in its form (footnotes, indentation and page layout). The document is 6" wide and Palatino 12 plain font in the original. So when your text only version comes up with Palatino 14, just find Select All (under File) and change it to Geneva 10, Helvetica 12 or Palatino 12 . That will smooth out the paragraphs and lines, giving you a much more readable file. By Lee Tyler P.O. Box 620763, SanDiego, CA 92162-0763 polyboy@delphi.com = Sunday afternoon thru Thurs evening >Does God care about prisoners? Shouldn't you? Ps 69:33 For the LORD hears the needy, and does not despise His prisoners. Ps 79:11 Let the groaning of the prisoner come before You; Ps 102:17 He will regard the prayer of the destitute, and not despise their prayer. . .For He has looked down from the height of His sanctuary. . . to hear the groaning of the prisoner, . . . >If God cares about prisoners, shouldn't you? Jesus said His blessing is on those who visit and minister to His children in prison and His curse is on those who do not visit and minister to His children in prison. Do you at least pray for them as a class of people? How can you not, given what Jesus said? Mt 25:36 I was naked, and you clothed Me; I was sick, and you visited Me; I was in prison, and you came to Me. >Are only "low-lifes" and human "trash" prisoners? What does the Word say? Consider the following: Ge 39:20 And JOSEPH'S master took him and put him in the prison, a place where the king's prisoners [were] bound. And he was there in the prison. Ex 2:23 And it happened after many days the king of Egypt died. And THE SONS OF ISRAEL sighed because of the bondage, and they cried, and their cry came up to God because of the bondage. Ex 6:5 And I have also heard the groaning of the sons of Israel, those whom the Egyptians are keeping in bondage. And I have remembered My covenant. Jud 16:25 And when their hearts were merry, it happened that they said, Call for SAMSON and he will make sport for us. And they called for Samson out of the prison house. And he made sport for them, and they set him between the pillars. 2Ch 16:10 And Asa was angry with THE SEER and put him in a prison- house. Isa 14:3 And it shall be in the day that the LORD shall give you rest from your sorrow, and from your fear, and from the hard bondage which was pressed on you, Isa 53:8 He [JESUS] was taken from prison and from judgment; and who shall declare His generation? For He [JESUS] was cut off out of the land of the living; for the transgression of My people He [JESUS was] stricken. Jer 37:15 And the rulers were angry with JEREMIAH, and struck him, and put him in prison, the house of Jonathan the scribe. For they had made that the prison. Mt 4:12 But when Jesus heard that JOHN was thrown into prison, He withdrew into Galilee. Ac 5:18 And laid their hands on THE APOSTLES and put them in the public custody. 19 But the angel of [the] Lord opened the prison doors by night and brought them out, Ac 8:3 But Saul ravaged THE CHURCH, entering into every house. And dragging men and women, he delivered [them] up to prison. Ac 12:5 Then, indeed, PETER was kept in prison. Ac 16:37 But PAUL said to them, Having beaten us publicly, men who are Romans and uncondemned, they threw [us] into prison. >What a list! Joseph, the children of Israel, Samson, Jesus, Jeremiah, John, the apostles, the Church, specifically Peter and Paul are the stars of the show! It would be an honor to be in such company, even in prison. How dare we stereotype all prisoners in such an evil and stereotyped manner as we often do? As in all matters of the Spirit and the Church, prejudice, bias and bigotry has no place and every individual must be considered on an individual basis (1Tim. 5:21 and James 2:1-10). But the issue I want to deal with in this document is the evil of man's way, the world's way, imposed on prisoners, the hypocrisy of it, and the silence of theChristian community about it. There are state and federal laws that make sure that prisoners get enough food, have a clean healthy environment, have adequate clothing and even have asbestos-free air to breath. Society recognizes the natural need of their human bodies for toilet paper and toilets, urinals, soap and showers, cafeterias, bedding and beds, clothing and shoes, laundering, toothpaste and tooth brushes, doctors and nurses. Genuine human physical needs are addressed and provided for by law and monitored by activist and regulatory agencies. But then hypocrisy steps in. The hypocrisy is society's denial that the sexual drive and appetite is as much a physical appetite and need as is food, thirst and rest. You say that you never heard of anyone dying from lack of sex - - - - and I say you are talking like an ostrich with its head in the sand. The irrationality of a testosterone episode can cause one to do foolish and dangerous things with very sick people. The irrationality of a testosterone episode improperly handled can not only endanger the life of the male, but also the well being of his family and all his loved ones. AIDS is epidemic in many prison wings-- -and you die from sexually transmited AIDS. They wont put minors with older male prisoners because they know it is a death sentence for the minor who becomes the "girl" for the older and bigger males who have no other sexual outlet. They even show minors videos of prisoners who plainly state the sexual domination and exploitation of the weak that takes place in prison and try to use that to scare the minors out of crime. Most in our society say that such a predicament and plague of AIDS is what they deserve, since they are prisoners. You could never make it stand in the Supreme Court that a car thief, one who assaults another, a wife beater,a rapist etc deserve the death sentence for such crimes. Yet we know they are doomed to that fate in many prisons. Any urologist and endocrinologist worth the title knows that sex is just as much an appetite and physical need as food , drink and rest especially in the case of the high-middle to high testosterone blood level male. If you don't have enough food you are driven by your hunger to get the food you need, or else you become weak and uncomfortable. If you don't have enough to drink, you become uncomfortable and seek something to drink or else you become dehydrated and quite uncomfortable, seeking relief. A good urologist or endocrinologist can easily document that if a high blood testosterone level male does not have an effective outlet, such a male can be almost irrationally driven to seek and obtain release and relief. Read the documentation of William H. Masters, Virginia E. Johnson, Fred Belliveau and Lin Richter. What a shame most people have no idea of what the average male's testosterone sex drive does to him as a male. Granted about half of the males have mid-range to low testosterone levels as well as nocturnal emission, so they have a safety release valve on their sex lives. The low testosterone level males may have a great deal of difficulty turning on their sex lives and are as ignorant of the intense experience of the high testosterone male as is the average female. Most people have no idea that the sex drive in that half of the male who have mid to high testosterone levels in their blood is as strong and compelling as the hunger drive when the stomach is growling and cramping for lack of food; or as the thirst drive when the tongue, throat and mouth are so dry it is even difficult to talk; as the rest drive when it is impossible to keep the eyes open or the body erect due to utter exhausion. These same people would not normally ignore such hunger/thirst signs, nor say that they would take cold showers and exercise to overcome such hunger/thirst signs. If they chose to fast, go without food and drink, by the second day they would be too weak to do their daily work and chores, and by the third day they would be too weak walk far or stand for long periods of time. Yet they fault the mid to high testosterone blood level male for not being able to ignore his compelling sex drive and do without. When the men who are not blessed with natural nocturnal emission (wet dreams) have gone without sexual release for several days, the prostrate becomes so congested that it begins to squeeze shut the uretha so they cannot urinate normally and they have urinate much more frequently. The effect on the brain is that those high testosterone level males are so distracted and distractable, especially by anything female, that quite literally their minds could be said to be weakened in that it is very difficult to concentrate or focus on other necessary tasks. The impact of every feminine stimulus (female hair, scent, body shape, a specific part of her body that stands out or is more noticeable, her voice, her feminine movements, proximity, feminine clothing etc.) is exaggerated and magnified in proportion to the testosterone level. Even in the night when trying to sleep, the high blood level testosterone male has a very difficult time trying to sleep when experiencing a testosterone episode because even though his eyes are closed and it is dark, the testosterone is activating memory cells storing memories of female stimuli and he probably will not be able to sleep well until he has the release of an orgasm. The impact on the high testosterone level male is that he must try to battle to maintain his focus and attention on necessary tasks. That involves deciding how to deal with the involuntary female distraction, how to regain his concentration and his line of thought. So instead of being able to go on with good concentration on the task at hand like his fellow workers, his concentration is broken, the female stimuli is recognized and evaluated, the response to the female stimuli is evaluated and chosen, the interrupted line of thought is retrieved, the point in the interrupted line of thought is located and the concentration is resumed until the next female stimulus breaks the concentration and the whole process is repeated-----putting such a male further and further behind his coworkers who do not have to deal with such testosterone induced reactions. It give attention deficit disorder a whole new meaning. If people could think of their nasal sinuses being so congested that they cannot breath, or of the problems with urination that a woman has with urination when 8 or 9 months pregnant, then maybe they could understand the problems prostrate congestion can cause. Without release, ejaculation, they could become so distracted and distractable by anything that, as with too much alcohol, their judment and thinking is impaired and foolish (risky), dangerous (AIDS,HIV) or irrational behaviour results. To help his wife or daughter understand the effect of testosterone-coupled -with-females on a male in relationship with his woman whom he loves and desires passionately, a man might do the following. (1) Take his lady out to eat her favorite meal. (2) Order the meal, talking it up to maximize her anticipation and desire for it . When the meal is served, ask her take a minute to look carefully at each item (how it is arranged, how it appears). Ask her to smell each item. Ask her to take one fork/spoon serving of each item and eat it, one at a time. (3) Ask her if she is pleased and still wants it . If she replies that she is ready and eager to eat and wants no more delay, then gently, sweetly, carefully ask/beg/entreat her to trust you in what you are about to do and that she go along with what you are about to do. (4) If she will cooperate, ask the waiter/waitress to doggy bag the meal. She will probably need a lot of reassurance at this point, so tell her that if she will go along with you it will significantly improve her marriage. Hopefully she will believe you, reluctantly. Ask her to carry the bagged food in the car on her lap, or on the floor at her feet. (5) Turn on the heater of your car with a little floor heat so the smell of the food will rise to her face. (6)When you get home, ask her to carry it and put it in the refrigerator . She will probably need more encouragement to do this. Ask/beg/entreat her to trust you and cooperate. Ask her if she likes the way that the evening has gone so far. Ask her how she feels about her favorite meal, cooling off in the refrigerator. Sit her down and gently, compassionately and wisely explain to her what follows next. The ³favorite meal² to him is HER (1). He approaches, anticipates, and awaits her with eager expectation(2). Tell her that everytime he sees, smells, hears, touches and/or tastes her lips/skin, it is what she felt above (3). Explain that the bagging of the food in front of her (4) is what he feels when she says to him ³Honey! Not tonight.², ³I have a headache and I just donıt feel like it right now.², ³All you think of is sex! Chill out baby! Not tonight!², ³What have you done lately to deserve it, baby?². Explain to her that the carrying of the pleasantly aromatic food home on her lap in the car is like when he is near her but canıt feast on her, canıt fully enjoy her(5). Explain that her putting the nice warm and delicious food in the refrigerator is what he experiences when he has to go to bed or part from her without having had the honor, the privilege, the delightful pleasure, the soul fulfilling experience of feasting on her and her many delectables (6). Explain patiently and gently and that for him his sexual drive is an appetite, and his appetite is for her - his favorite feast. Explain that to be near her is like ordering and receiving his favorite meal, her. Explain that when he is denied his compelling hunger and thirst for her, it is painful and hard to bear. Explain that it is a soul wrenching experience, just as losing her favorite meal was for her. Explain that he NEEDS her even more than he WANTS her. Appeal to her experience with the deferred meal to understand how frustrating and emotionally troubling it is to be denied her. If nothing else, lay the Word on her----how it is the will of God for her to feed the hungry, and seeing his need and her ability to meet it -- pray that she will be moved with compassion and meet his need. And explain that his responsibility is to receive the wonderful and gracious gift that she is and has, is to gently and kindly and thoughtfully enjoy her---seeking to give her as much pleasure as possible. If he doesnıt do that, then he is the swine that had pearls thrown before him, the fool who has no idea of the value of his precious possession and hides it away from all, even from himself. If the smile and expressions of delight on her face and the utterances of fulfillment and ecstasy on her lips are not as important to him as his hunger for and need of her, then he is unworthy of her. Perhaps such an unworthy one could show genuine repentance (2Cor7) and humble himself under the mighty hand of His God and under the authority He has given his wife over his body, and become a learner of how to please and delight his woman. A man who acts like Nabal with his wife, will surely face the fate of a Nabal. As a male with mid to high testosterone and no nocturnal emission when I was in high school, my Urologist (Vital Haynes,MD), told me I had a few options to prevent my recurring prostrate congestion. He said that I, at age 17, could either get married and be intimate frequently, be promiscuous frequently, self-stimulate quite frequently, become homosexual (the penis in the anus squeezes the seminal fluid out of the prostrate), or come into his office two to three times a week for him to massage/press the seminal fluid out of my prostrate (too expensive and embarassing). Cold showers, exercise and being spiritual just did not empty the prostrate so I could urinate normally and have my mind clear of testosterone distractions. For the mid to high testosterone male, sexual release is just as much as physical need as food, drink, and sleep. The question such men have to deal with is, "How can I have the testosterone release I need so I can take care of daily business and be acceptable to Jesus?" The obvious answer is marriage (1 Cor. 7:1,2,5,9) with a wife who understands his sexual needs and is committed to ministering to him in his need in Christ, and as unto Christ (Matt. 25:34,35,36), so that his physical need of the release/ejaculation can be met and they can get on with their lives. The closest the female comes to this experience is in her PMS where her mind is bombarded with hormones etc. making many to be quite distracted and temporarily not their normal selves. It is extremely difficult for a woman to understand that testosterone can make a godly man REALLY NEED (not just want) the physical marital love making of a godly wife. It is not just a matter of the will and the mind, just like the physical needs for food, drink and sleep are not only matters of the will and the mind. So we have a middle to high blood level testosterone male, and he is put in jail. Benevolently we feed him, clothe him, bed him, doctor him and then hypcritcally we deny him a legitimate sexual outlet for his periodic/weekly/ daily burning desire/need. Yet God expects the prisoner, burning with passion and failing to stay pure before God, to handle his testosterone episodes in an acceptable manner, to know how to handle such episodes. That means that he expects such a male to marry if possible, who is burning with sexual desire and burning in torment over his failure to consistently win the struggle to be sexually upright before God. If our society prevents such a male to marry, then our society is at odds with God and we know who loses in that confrontation. If our society prevents such a burning and tormented child of God in prison from marrying, God has promised that he would not be tempted above that which he is able to handle by God's inner working, but that He would either provide an end to such temptation or a way out of such temptation (1Cor.10:13). It is no big thing for the God of the universe to move through legislators to change legislation, to have a prisoner released, to change a believer's hormones so the temptations are more manageable. But the following shows what His preferred solution is for such burning-in- torment prisoners. 1 Thess 4:1 ĥ Furthermore, then, my brothers, we beseech you and exhort [you] in [the] Lord Jesus, that, as you have received of us how you ought to walk and to please God, so you would abound more [and more]. 2 For we know what commandments we gave you by the Lord Jesus. 3 For this is the will of God, your sanctification, that you should abstain from fornication>^, 4 each one of you should know how to know how to possess his vessel. [Footnote:>^=Pressing/handling/embracing a female's breast and/or breast-nipple, coition/genital-to-genital connection, genital connection with orgasm OUTSIDE OF YOUR OWN MARRIAGE] OTHER POSSIBLE TRANSLATIONS PUT FORTH BY OTHERS : 1: . . .²know that he is to procure his own vessel [wife] in [personal] holiness and honor, not in the passion of inordinate desire . . .² 2. ..² learn to control his own body .. or . .²learn to live with his own wife; or . . .²learn to acquire a wife . . . 3. ³ know how to possess [control, manage] his own body (in purity, separated from things progfane, and) in consecration and honor.".1b in sanctification and honor 5 (not in the passion of lust, even as the nations who know not God) , 6 not to go beyond and defraud >1c his brother in this matter, because the Lord [is the] avenger concerning all these, as we also have forewarned you and testified. 7 For God has not called us to uncleanness, but unto sanctification. 8 He, therefore, who despises, does not despise man but God, who also has given unto us His Holy Spirit. [Footnote: >1c This probably refers to adultery, defrauding your brother by adultery with his wife.] >So how is a male, burning with sexual need and desire and often failing to control himself, supposed to deal with this situation? KJV 1 Corinth. 7: 8 I say therefore to the unmarried and widows, It is good for them if they abide even as I. 9 But if they cannot contain, let them marry: for it is better to marry than to burn. >>>1Co.7:9a BUT IF THEY CANNOT contain, let them marry.<<<<<<< 12 Strong's exhaustive concordance; Baker Book House; Grand Rapids, Mich.12---------³3756 ou {oo} .. a primary word, the absolute negative [cf 3361] adverb; particle 1) no, not; in direct questions expecting an affirmative answer² So Strong's shows us that there is no Greek basis for the word ³can². It was supplied by the translators. When the KJV translators translated the very same word, without the negative ³not², in 1 Cor. 9:25 (And every man that strives for the mastery is temperate <1467> (5736) in all things. ) they use ³is temperate², not ³can be temperate², to translate <1467> so even they are inconsistent. >>>1Co.7:9b- But if they do not CONTAIN , let them marry.<<<<<<<< [Strongıs<1467> (5736)], Strongıs1467 egkrateuomai {eng-krat-yoo'-om-ahee} middle voice from 1468 1) to be self-controlled, continent 1a) to exhibit self-government, conduct, one's self temperately 1b) in a figure drawn from athletes, who in preparing themselves for the games abstained from unwholesome food, wine, and sexual indulgence 5736 Tense - Present; Voice - Middle or Passive Deponent; Mood - Indicative. DBY1>.13 Darbyıs.3 "But if they have not control over themselves, " NEB1>.14 New English Bible (version 2) 1970.4 "if they cannot control themselves, "(So also NIV) YLT1>.15 Youngıs Literal Translation.5 and "if they have not continence--" NKJV1>.16 New King James Version, 1984: This version uses the word "cannot" with refernce to the exercise of self-control, "cannot exercise self- control" MKJV1>.17 OnLine Bibleıs Modern King James Version: This version uses "do not" with reference to having self-control. ASV1>.18 American Standard Version, 1901.8 "But if they have not continency, " LP1>.19 Lamsaıs Peshitta, 1957.9 "But if they cannot endure it, " AB2>.20 Amplified Bible, 1965.0 "But if they have not self-control (restraint of their passions), " WNT2>.21 Wuestsıs New Testament, 1961.1 "But assuming that they are not able to exercise self-control in the realm of the continent life, "........ >>>1Co.7:9c- But if they do not contain, LET THEM MARRY <<<<<<<< [Strongıs <1060> (5657)]: ³Strongıs 1060: gameo {gam-eh'-o} from 1062>.>.. 1) to lead in marriage, take to wife 1a) to get married, to marry 1b) to give one's self in marriage 2) to give a daughter in marriage Strongıs 5657 Tense - Aorist; Voice - Active------- The active voice represents the subject as the doer or performer of the action. E.g., in the sentence, "The boy hit the ball," the boy performs the action. Mood - Imperative The imperative mood corresponds to the English imperative, and expresses a command to the hearer to perform a certain action by the order and authority of the one commanding. Thus, Jesus' phrase, "Repent ye, and believe the gospel" (Mk.1:15)is not at all an "invitation," but an absolute command requiring full obedience on the part of all hearers.² DBY " let them marry; " (so also LP) NEB "they should marry." (so also NIV) ASV "let them marry" (so also YLT, MKJV, WNT & NKJV) AB they should marry. Does "let them marry" mean "You let/permit/allow them to marry"? Is ³You² the ³hearer [who is] to perform² the action of marrying in this passage? J. Gresham Machen, D.D., Litt.D; in his Macmillan Co. Greek manual, states the following: "The imperative mood is used in commands.It will be observed that the English language has, properly speaking, no imperative of the third person. Hence in translating the Greek imperative of the third person we have to use the helping verb let, so that the noun or pronoun that is the subject of the imperative in Greek becomes the object of the helping verb in English." So in ³if they cannot exercise self-control, let them marry.² it means ------- ³that the..pronoun (them) that is the subject (third person plural: they) of the imperative (marry) in Greek becomes the object (them) of the helping verb (let) in English.² So a literal translation of ³let them marry² would be ³they are commanded to marry" by the order and authority of the one commanding (The Holy Spirit in Paul); or simply, ³they are commanded to marry.² Who is commanded to marry? Those who donıt exercise self-control. THERE IS NO INDICATION AS TO WHO THEY SHOULD MARRY. IN THE OLD TESTAMENT THE "WHO" WAS INDENTIFIED (See Deut. 22 and Ex. 22) BUT WE ARE NO LONGER BOUND BY THOSE LAWS (Acts 15; Eph. 2; Col. 2). We know that He does not want us to marry the unsaved (2 Cor. 6) or saints living in sin (2 Th. 3:6-14; 1 Cor. 5:9-11; 1 Tim. 6:1-5; 2 Tim. 3:1-5). It's obvious that He wants us to marry "in the Lord". DBY "for it is better to marry than to burn." (so also ASV, MKJV NEB "Better be married than burn with vain desire." YLT "for it is better to marry than to burn;" LP" for it is better to marry than to burn with passion. " (So also NIV, NKJV AB "For it is better to marry than to be aflame (with passion and tortured continually with ungratified desire)." WNT "for it is more advantageous to marry than to continue to burn [with the heat of sexual passion}" >>>1 Cor.7:9----FOR IT IS BETTER TO MARRY THAN TO BURN.<<<< So the way this writer gets it is a modified DBY: ŒBut if they have not control over themselves, they should marry; For it is better to marry than to burn. Now if the mighty God of the universe tells me I should marry, just being thankful in Christ that He has taken the time to know me and deal with me, I would be asking ³Who² and ³When². Now I know I need to obey my Lord Jesus (Heb.5:8,9;1John2:1-5), and since He has told me I NEED to/SHOULD marry and promised to supply all my needs according to His riches, then I need to prepare myself forWHOEVER of the saints He provides (seek and ye shall find), knowing that He will LEAD that saint to be willing to marry me ----- and shame on me if I am too selfish and particular to accept the outlet He provides! But society allows nothing except self-stimulation (a real mental problem for many men who believe it is a sign of weakness or mental illness) and strictly regulated conjugal visits with nowhere enough frequency for normal males. If Jesus says the solution for sexual burning is marriage, then we need to make it possible for prisoners also to marry and have conjugal visits that are realistically frequent and comfortable. To disregard Jesus' solution is to play the fool and ruin human lives. To not allow prisoners the opportunity to be in communication with the opposite sex is cruel and unusual punishment under the laws of God. To force prisoners into sin, into homosexuality, by denying them the meeting of their God given needs in the God given manner, marriage, is to play the fool and ruin human lives. Of course God has very effective ways of dealing with those who set deny and reject His way. Why have a Hell of a life and then become fuel for Hell fire, when it is so much better to let people be people, remembering that prisoners are people. These needs can be met without compromising prison security or the terms of their sentencing. Let's not be fools. Let's be wise. Write your city, county, state and federal elected representatives. Who can deny that it would be far better for one prisoner to marry another prisoner than for that one prisoner to homosexually abuse another or be homosexually abused by another. If prisoners are allowed to communicate with, court and woo each other, then the following is useful. SOME SCRIPTURAL GUIDELINES 1. God makes it very clear in His Word that He, as our Heavenly Father, instructs us not to ³go with², become engaged to, or marry anyone who is not a believer who is obeying the Word of God>#1. Being the Loving Father our God is, and the all wise King that Jesus is, God instructs us for our own well being that an obedient believer should not ³go with², become engaged to, or marry any ³believer² who is disobeying Godıs instructions, or any ³believer² who believes or teaches things that contradict or are in conflict with Godıs teachings in the Bible>#2. Yes, that really narrows the way for finding a godly mate and drastically reduces the number of eligible people but those who have been down the road can tell you that it is better to marry right than wrong, and that it is better not to marry than to marry wrong. It just makes the miracle of Godıs provision even more miraculous, like Elijah pouring all that water over the sacrifice to be burned before God sent the consuming fire from Heaven. You have to have Faith in God to walk with God. You have to really trust Him before you can turn your hopes and dreams over to Him for His decision. [#1 2 Corinthians 6:11-7:1; 1 Corinthians 15:33; James 4:4; Exodus 34:12; 23:33; 1 Kings 11:1,2; Ezra 9:11,12; Nehemiah 10:25-30;Psalms 1:1; 26:4,5; Prov. 12:26;13:20; 14:7; 24:1; Amos 3:3. #2 1 Corinthians 5:9- 11; 2 Thessalonians 3:6-14; Ephesians 5:7,11; NKJV 1 Timothy6:3-5; Romans 16:17; 3 John 10,11; 2 Timothy 3:1-5] 2. If you have no need of marital affectionate/sexual intimacy, a gift from God, you have the wonderful opportunity to serve God with fewer "distractions", to spend much more time with Him in the Word and prayer, and with others in ministry. David Hocking's book on singles beautifully explains 1 Corinthians 7:1,7,,20,25-35 and the great opportunity the single life presents to those who want more fully to seek and follow God with their whole heart. Singles groups for such people are fellowship opportunities, and provide the opportunity to bond with friends and minister to the Body of Christ. 3. If your calling and gift is to marry, how do you seek and find that partner? First of all you have to have your priorities right because marriage can become an idol just like anything else on earth can. You have to make very sure that Matthew 6:33,34; Proverbs 3:1-8; Psalms 37:1-6; and 2 Timothy 2 are daily very real or else even our prayers are in vain (1 John 3:22,23 and 1 John 5:14,15). Next we have to come to the place of Luke 22:42 and Romans 6:4,11, 12,13--- -the place of death to self and resurrection to Love which seeks not its own way/things---SO THAT WE ARE READY TO ACCEPT WHOEVER HE GIVES TO US, EVEN IF HIS CHOICE SEEMS TO FALL FAR SHORT OF OUR DREAMS AND FANTASIES. With our "seed" dead in the ground, He can raise us to a new life of marriage in His will. You literally have to die to your wants and tastes in physical appearance, personality, color hair or eyes, height, talents, income, status etc. and be ready to accept whoever He gives to you and you will have doubt-free peace of heart and mind if you are ready and accepting the one He gives to you. Your only concern should be that your prospective mate meets God's requirements in the Bible for a godly, Spirit-led and Spirit-filled man/woman. Jesus said seek and you shall find. Seeking one's mate can be as active a process as Ruth's and Queen Esther's or it can be as privately surprising as Adam's awakening to Eve for the first time. You can count on God to lead you according to His word (Proverbs 3:5,6; Romans 8:14). You can trust Him to put His ideas/desires in your heart/mind and the opportunities to act on them (Philippians 2:13; Hebrews 13:20,21). Like Adam, you can wake up to her in your life in His time. Like Issac, a parent figure can help you find God's choice for you. You can just be going about your daily activities like Rebekah and, in a moment of compassionate assistance to a stranger, you can find your mate. Like Ruth, you can commit yourself to God's service, make a Godly decision to step out of one situation and into another and in that new situation be led and advised to do what seems like an ordinary work day decision but which results in your meeting your mate quite unexpectedly. Following wise and Godly counsel of Godly counselors like Ruth, you might be led to offer yourself as wife to a Godly man who obviously cares for and admires you but for some reason feels unworthy to ask you to be his wife. Like David meeting Abigail, you could just be going about your daily walk in the Lord, meet a godly woman you admire and respect but who seems unavailable just to quite unexpectedly find that she is both available and ready to marry you. Like Abigail, you could find yourself in a trying and difficult situation with no relief in sight, but by living wisely and Godly in that situation impress and build a relationship with the one you will eventually marry. With todayıs laws about sexual harassment, any wise male will think long and hard before he compliments a female on her female beauty or appearance, long and hard before he will let her know he likes her and is interested in getting to know her personally, long and hard before he will ask or suggest that they go out on a date. Because of the sexual harassment laws the only way a woman might know a man is interested in her is by what his eyes show, and it is now virtually up to the woman to tell the man that if he is interested, she would like to get to know him better and get together to talk. This is very hard for a woman because of the chance of misreading his eyes and being rejected and embarrassed. Thatıs why men and women more than ever need Christian singlesı and couplesı agencies and fellowship groups, as the Lord leads. THE KEY IS IN GENESIS 24:27. Being in His way, doing His things, saying His Words He leads you to the where and the who of your future. It may even seem like blind faith but it has to be absolute trust in His working all things together according to the counsel of His own will (Ephes. 1:11; Phil. 4:6,7) free of worry, anxiety and fretting, with a soul at rest and in peace knowing that your Shepherd-King will take care of the need for you in His time with the person of His choice, not necessarily of your choice. YOU MUST TRUST HIM TO USE HIS WORD AND THE TRUTH OF ROMANS 14:22,23 WITH PHILIPPIANS 4:6,7 to guide you. He can bring scriptures to mind to guide and direct you. The final test is the Spirit's gift of doubt-free peace of heart and mind. Move and rest in that peace. Consider every doubt and uneasiness of spirit to be God's Romans 14 and Phil. 4 signal to you that you shouldn't do the thing in question because either it is the wrong thing and you don't realize it yet, or it is the right thing but you shouldn't do it yet. So you don't say it or do it until your consciousness is filled with His doubt-free peace and rest of spirit about it/him/her and the Word of God in Scripture.