MARRIAGE BY COVENANT, Monogynous or Polygynous Copyright © 1997, by L. Tyler oldservant@delphi.com mark541@hotmail.com If you have decided that Mat. 5:33-37, James 4:13-17 and James 5;12 don't allow you to use the traditional wedding vows and covenants because they involve swearing and/or oaths (SEE APPENDIX SEVEN of Divorce & Polygyny), then you might be interested in using and adapting the following to your own needs. Also these covenants are suitable for legal weddings, common law weddings, and a wedding in concubinage (See the file LegalCalifPoly.txt). A WEDDING AFFIRMATION*********************************** (Your name), will you have this (man, woman) to be your (husband, wife) and will you , before God and these witnesses, solemnly affirm and declare your marital intentions and expectations to (him, her), in all honor and love, in all service and duty, in all faith and tenderness, to live with (him, her), to comfort, keep (him/her), and cherish (him/her), according to the ordinance of God, in the holy bond of marriage? (Answer, "I do" or "Yes"). I, (your name), take you, (the other's name), to be my wedded (husband, wife); and I do solemnly affirm and declare before God and these witnesses that I intend and expect to be your loving and faithful (husband, wife) to love and to cherish each other; in plenty and in want; in joy and grief; in health and infirmity; as long as we b oth shall live. In token of our solemn affirmations and declarations, with this ring I wed you; in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit who lives and abides in us. Amen (both repeat in unison) I now pronounce you husband and wife. Do you have something to say to us? (in unison) We covenant before God and all of you present, that we are husband and wife bound together to be one flesh in the Lord until death part us. We covenant before God that it is our responsibility to compassionately cherish each other according to His Word, the Holy Bible, to His glory and honor. Pray for us. ANOTHER WEDDING AFFIRMATION******************** ________, do you accept and acknowledge ______ as your husband? Yes/I do_______ Do you accept your responsibility to be faithful to him, in all virtue and honor, in all duty and service, in all faithfulness and tenderness, to live with him and compassionately cherish him according to the Word of God, in the holy bond of marriage?______ Do you leave your parents and loyally bond with him to be one in marriage submitting to each other in reverence to God?_______ Do you, ____________, commit yourself to him with all your heart, to follow ________'s lead as unto the Lord in all matters showing honor and respect? __________, do you accept and acknowledge ___________as your wife?_Yes/I do______ Do you accept your responsibility to be faithful to her, in all virtue and honor, in all duty and service, in all faithfulness and tenderness, to live with her and compassionately cherish her according to the Word of God, in the holy bond of marriage? Yes/I do_______ Do you leave your parents and loyally bond with her to be one in marriage submitting to each other in reverence to God? Yes/I do ________ Do you ________, commit yourself to her with all your heart to live wisely with her;respectfully, compassionately and sacrificially cherishing her, feeding her the Word, taking care of her and leading her by your example? Yes/I do_______ ANOTHER WEDDING COVENANT***************************** I, ___________, make a covenant with you this day. I take you ________as my wedded husband before God and these witnesses. I acknowledge my fervent desire and responsibility to faithfully cherish you as my husband, to love you and honor you in plenty and in want, in joy and in sorrow, in sickness and in health, all the days of my life. I make this covenant, not boasting of or counting on my own ability to keep it, but trusting in God for His Spirit's enabling and motivating, and His gift of length of days to honor Him in the keeping of this covenant. I, ___________, make a covenant with you this day. I take you _______ as my wedded wife before God and these witnesses. I acknowledge my fervent desire and responsibility to faithfully cherish you as my wife, to love you and honor you in plenty and in want, in joy and in sorrow, in sickness and in health, all the days of my life. I make this covenant not boasting of or trusting in my own ability to keep it, but trusting in God for His Spirit's enabling and motivating, and His gift of length of days to honor Him in the keeping of this covenant. _________________________ The Couple's Signatures and Date ______________________________ The Witnesses' Signatures & Date A WEDDING AFFIRMATION/COVENANT FOR POLYGYNISTS _________, do you accept and acknowledge _______ as your own (mate, lover, intimate companion, beloved, etc.)? Yes, I do! > Do you accept your responsibility to be faithful to him, in all virtue and honor, in all duty and service, in all faithfulness and tenderness, to live with him and compassionately cherish him according to the Word of God, in the holy bond of these your covenants? Yes, I do! > Do you accept your responsibility to be faithful to him, not having any other lover>1., not leaving him for another lover>2.; and not dismissing, releasing or repudiating him as your own (mate, lover, intimate companion, beloved, etc.)>3.? Yes, I do! > Do you accept your responsibility to not separate from him, be separated from him, leave him, or put yourself apart from him>4. unless it is to be alone and celibate with the hope reconciliation>5. ? Yes, I do! > Do you leave your parents and loyally bond with him to be one in this covenanted union,submitting to each other in reverence to God? Yes, I do! > ______, do you commit yourself to _______ with all your heart, to follow _______'s lead, as unto the Lord, in all matters showing honor and respect? Yes, I do! ______, do you accept and acknowledge _______ as your own (mate, lover, intimate companion, beloved, etc.)? Yes/I do! > Do you accept your responsibility to be faithful to her, in all virtue and honor, in all duty and service, in all faithfulness and tenderness, to live with her and compassionately cherish her according to the Word of God, in the holy bond of these covenants? Yes/I do! > Do you accept your responsibility to be faithful to her, not leaving her for another lover>6.; not sending or puting her away, not maritally dismissing , releasing or repudiating her?>7. Yes, I do! > Do you accept your responsibility to be faithful to her, not separating yourself from her, not allowing yourselves to be separated, not leaving or depart from her, not putting her apart from you>8.? Yes, I do! > Do you accept your responsibility to be faithful to her, not sending her away, not asking her to go away or leave, not maritally releasing or leaving her>9. Yes, I do! > Do you leave your parents and loyally bond with her to be one in this covenanted union, submitting to each other in reverence to God? Yes/I do! > _____, do you commit yourself to her with all your heart to live wisely with her; respectfully, compassionately and sacrificially cherishing her, feeding her the Word, taking care of her and leading her by your example? Yes/I do! With God's enabling and leading it is our solemn desire and intent to > lovingly cherish each other in good times and bad times > unselfishly cherish each other in all conditions and under all circumstances > sincerely show honor and respect always to each other > keep our covenated union pure, free from adultery and fornication > do everything in our power to be to each other what each of us needs SO HELP US GOD! I, __________, make a covenant with you, __________, this day. I take you as my own (mate, lover, intimate companion, beloved, etc.)before God and these witnesses. I acknowledge my fervent desire and responsibility to faithfully cherish you as my own (mate, lover, intimate companion, beloved, etc.), to love you and honor you in plenty and in want, in joy and in sorrow, in sickness and in health, all the days of my life. I make this covenant, not boasting of or counting on my own ability to keep it, but trusting in God for His Spirit's enabling and motivating, and His gift of length of days to honor Him in the keeping of this covenant. I, _________, make a covenant with you, __________, this day. I take you as my own (mate, lover, intimate companion, beloved, etc.) before God and these witnesses. I acknowledge my fervent desire and responsibility to faithfully cherish you as my own (mate, lover, intimate companion, beloved, etc.), to love you and honor you in plenty and in want, in joy and in sorrow, in sickness and in health, all the days of my life. I make this covenant not boasting of or trusting in my own ability to keep it, but trusting in God for His Spirit's enabling and motivating, and His gift of length of days to honor Him in the keeping of this covenant. _______________________________ The Couple's Signatures and Date Witnessed by God and ______________________________ The Witnesses' Signatures & Date FOOTNOTES FOR THE POLYGYNOUS WEDDING AFFIRMATION >1. "You shall not covet your neighbor's wife.">153. "You shall not lie carnally with your neighbor's wife˛>154. "For this is the will of God. . . ..that no one should take advantage of and defraud/cheat his brother in this matter.˛>155. A genuine Christian wife is bound to her husband as long as he lives and she becomes an adulteress when she is sexually intimate with another while he still lives.[Footnotes:>153. Exod. 20:17. >154. Leviticus18:20. >155. 1 Thess. 4:3-6.] >2. "Whoever marries a woman who is divorced commits adultery">144. The reason being that she is still bound to him as wife.>145. [Footnote: >144 Mat. 5:32; 19:9; Luke 16:18; except in the cases of 1 Cor. 7:12- 15,39; 1 Tim. 5:14. >145. 1 Cor. 7:10, 11, 39; Romans 7:1-3. ] "And if a woman divorces her husband and marries another, she commits adultery.">148. The adultery consists of both divorce AND remarriage. The reason being that she is still bound to him as wife.>149. [Footnotes:>148. Mark 10:12. >149. 1 Cor. 7:10, 11, 39; Romans 7:1-3.] "if, while her husband lives, she marries another man, she will be called an adulteress; but if her husband dies, she is free from that law, so that she is no adulteress, though she has married another man."Romans 7:3.] >3. Mark 10:11 & 12 means TO SEND OR PUT AWAY, DISMISS (FROM ONE'S PRESENCE), RELEASE AND REPUDIATE. It could be done informally or formally and legally as divorce. [Footnote: .>III.1 See also Matt. 1:19; 5:31; 19:3,7-9.] >4. Mark 10:9 of the saved couple and in 1 Cor. 7:10 &11 of the saved wife , and in v. 15 of the unsaved mate, means TO SEPARATE ONESELF FROM ANOTHER, BE SEPARATED; LEAVE, PART OR DEPART FROM, PUT ASUNDER AND DIVIDE. It could be done informally or formally as a divorce. God allows the Christian wife to choridzo her husband as second best but still affirms that she is bound maritally to her husband as in v. 39. [III. footnotes: >III.2. See also active: Matt. 19:6; Mark 10:9; Rom. 8;35,39;---passive: 1 Cor. 7:10,11,15;Acts 1:4; 18:2] >5. " . . . a wife must not leave her husband; but if she does, she must remain celebate or else be reconciled to her husband." 1 Cor. 7:10,11 >6. 1. The husband "causes her to commit adultery" when he divorces her for any reason other than sexual immorality>146. The reason being that she is still bound to him as wife.>147 In 1 Corinth. 7:5 we see that her husband "causes her to commit adultery" because her husband is failing to meet her marital needs and the enemy of her soul tempts in her burning need. (On the other hand: The wife is not said to cause her husband to commit adultery when she divorces him for any other reason than sexual immorality, probably because he is free to be a polygynist.)[Footnote: >146. Matt. 5:32; 19:9. >147 1 Cor. 7:10, 11, 39; Romans 7:1-3.] 2. "Whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery." The adultery consists of divorcing his wife for something else besides sexual immorality AND then remarrying. If he stayed married to his wife and married another, he became a polygynist. On the other hand, it is implied here that if he divorces his wife for sexual immorality and marries another, he does not commit adultery. His divorcing her does not cause her to commit adultery because she is already immorally sexually involved with someone else. His refusal to meet her sexual needs (1 Cor 7:2- 5) does not cause her to be immoral because she is already being immoral. He is commanded not to be intimate with her (1Cor.5:11) but his lack of her intimacy will cause him to be tempted (1 Cor.7:5). If the temptations overcome him and he is faling to control himself, burning with marital desire, he comes under command to marry (1Cor.7:9) and so remarries in the Lord. [Footnote: >152. Matt 19: 9: Mark 10:11; Luke 16:18.152.] >7. Mark 10:11 & 12 means TO SEND OR PUT AWAY, DISMISS (FROM ONE'S PRESENCE), RELEASE AND REPUDIATE. It could be done informally or formally and legally as divorce. [Footnote: .>III.1 See also Matt. 1:19; 5:31; 19:3,7-9.] >8. Mark 10:9 of the saved couple and in 1 Cor. 7:10 &11 of the saved wife , and in v. 15 of the unsaved mate, means TO SEPARATE ONESELF FROM ANOTHER, BE SEPARATED; LEAVE, PART OR DEPART FROM, PUT ASUNDER AND DIVIDE. It could be done informally or formally as a divorce. God allows the Christian wife to choridzo her husband as second best but still affirms that she is bound maritally to her husband as in v. 39. [Footnotes: >III.2. See also active: Matt. 19:6; Mark 10:9; Rom. 8;35,39;---passive: 1 Cor.7:10,11,15;Acts 1:4; 18:2] >9. l Cor. 7:11 and 12 and of the woman in v. 13, means TO SEND AWAY, ASK TO GO AWAY OR LEAVE, TO RELEASE, AND TO LEAVE. This can be done informally or as a formal divorce. So the word divorce can mean many different things depending on one's culture, society, motivation, intent and purposes. But the bottom line is that the husband is commanded not to send his wife away, nor to ask his wife to leave, nor release her nor leave her. Even if she asks or commands him to leave, He is under the Lord's command not to leave. Even if she gets a court order, he is under God's order not to leave her voluntarily.If the marshals/officials remove him and his belongings, then he didn't leave voluntarily. He was removed, but he did not relase or leave her. Separate rooms, sleeping separately or etc. is not leaving or releasing her as long as he is obeying 1 Cor. 7:1- 5 with her.l [Footnote: .^141 See also Mat. 13:36;; Mark 4:36.]